Saline Ultrasound Results

Today was my saline ultrasound plus bubbles, and let me tell you, the bubbles added PAIN. I remember the last saline ultrasound not being so bad. I mean, of course it's not the most comfortable thing in the world and it hurt while it was going on, but it was fast. This time, since I was the genius who wanted to get a look at my tubes, he added the bubbles and then spent a heck of a lot more time in there (even adding more saline) showing me exactly what was happening.

Here's the basics. My uterus and my tubes are both totally clear. No problems at all. Yay! Er.... wait a second. If my bloodwork is fine, my uterus and my tubes are clear and healthy, then why the heck am I not getting pregnant? Suddenly, all these emotions just slammed into me. Where is the real obstacle? What's going wrong?  And if the tubes are clear of any scar tissue, is IVF really the right next step? Did we try hard enough with the IUI's?

When the doctor was done and I had to get up, I got woozy because this time there was blood. Also, this sharp pain shot up my right shoulder and I felt like I could hardly breathe. Gas from the bubbles? I'm guessing that had to be it. I toughed it out and went to the consult with the doctor. He asked what we want our next step to be. I expressed my doubts about why the previous 2 IUI's didn't work and he basically said it's never a guarantee and if we wanted to do one more IUI w/ Clomid before we move on to IVF, we can.

Wow, after all the confusion of the last week and all the emotions, that just really hit me hard. How do I know what the right thing is to do now? George doesn't want me to do IUI and Clomid next cycle because I'm working on my fifth book and my plan was to finish it and get it published before I moved on with any more fertility treatments. Basically, he thinks there's no way I'll finish this book in time if I'm also doing an IUI. So, his suggestion is to substitute the IUI for the IVF in October's cycle. Give it a chance and if it doesn't work, move on to IVF in November.

But then I look at the calendar and just don't see how this is going to work. Let's say we do the IVF in November and it works. That would mean a 16 hour drive to NJ to visit George's family in early December when I'm only a few weeks pregnant. Then, another 8 hour drive there and back to Georgia to visit my family for Christmas. All that driving and traveling in the first trimester of a PCOS pregnancy, which is already high-risk for miscarriage? I'm just not sure that's the best idea. Of course, if IVF doesn't work, I'll be a mess the entire holidays and having to be around people and their kids isn't going to be fun either.

Of course, George then says that maybe we should just wait and do IVF next year. And this is how it happens. Things always getting pushed back and never working out the way I think they will. I feel like such a mess right now. I would much rather do the IUI and have it work without having to go through the injections and emotional rollercoaster of IVF, but we've already done two with no luck. Who is to say this time could be any different?

So, the saline ultrasound answered some questions and brought up a heck of a lot more than I was ready to deal with. I can't even imagine what it must be like to have a conversation with your spouse that decides you're ready to start a family and then a few months later, you're pregnant just from having sex and being a normal couple. That must be the best feeling in the world.