Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Good News, Bad News

Infertility is such a rollercoaster. I know I've said it before, but I have to say it again. It feels like good news and bad news go hand in hand sometimes. One thing starts to look up, something bad lurks just behind it. Today, I heard back from the specialty pharmacy that my meds had been ordered. Unfortunately, they are out of the medrol, but she said I can get a prescription from my doctor and fill that with a normal local pharmacy. I won't even tell you all the details of the run around I had to go through to get information on pricing. Let me just say that it was ridiculous. Apparently, they don't really want to tell you what it will cost until they have your credit card in hand. Just take my word for it when I say it was not a fun afternoon.

Finally, though, I spoke to someone who had a heart and was able to place a "test claim" and bring up the cost of my meds. Because of the type of insurance we have, we don't have a choice when it comes to the pharmacy we use. We HAVE to use our insurance's specialty pharmacy, end of story. So, she went through all the meds and came back to say that the entire order would be somewhere around $280. Yay! Great news, right? I mean, it's amazing news. I had pretty much budgeted that we would owe around $1000 at least for the meds, so for it to be under three hundred bucks is pretty freaking fantastic.

Then comes the bad news. She says that after this order, however, our fertility coverage will be exhausted and any future injectible cycles will be out of pocket 100%. My heart sank. I've seen so many blogs where people have three IVF cycles covered, so I was surprised to hear that we only get one. Well, a lifetime fertility max of $3600 apparently. And we exhausted it with this one cycle. It felt like she added a hundred pound weight to my chest.

I am not in any way complaining about this cycle. I completely understand how lucky we are to have most of this cycle covered through insurance. We're incredibly blessed. I know that there are people who don't have any coverage at all, so I'm not trying to be disrespectful. But we've already used up so much of our fertility coverage. We already knew we were cutting it close with this cycle for our primary fertility coverage, so we knew that if we needed a second cycle, it was going to be expensive. Now, to hear that our medication coverage is also gone from now on? It's just putting so much pressure on me. I'm already feeling a ton of pressure to be healthy and to get this book written. Now, I feel this enormous pressure to get a BFP.

I realize how ridiculous that sounds. I can't control whether I get pregnant this cycle or not. Logically, I know that. But now I keep thinking that if this cycle doesn't work, it could be as long as a year before we can afford to try again. Then, that also pushes our dreams of a bigger house further down another few years because of the money. I am trying to find ways to manage this stress and just be okay with it and understand that things will turn out exactly how they are supposed to, but that's easier said that done. I'm so grateful this cycle is going to be inexpensive for us, but so incredibly terrified that it won't work.


  1. Great news about your drugs!!! Focus on that for now, you have plenty of time to worry about the rest later!

  2. I totally get where you are at! I get so frustrated that we have to pay for this dream, and so many other people just breeze through it. We have 0 IVF med coverage, but 80% on the additional meds like Estrace, Prometrium etc (ones that can be used for other things!).

    Look into IVF meds - they ship to the US and we were going to use them - they would have saved us about 50% on the cost of the meds, but we decided to do a shared risk program with the RE. It works out $600 more expensive but if we need a second or third go (hopefully not) we save a lot. Which means should we need to go down that route it's not quite so bad.... its still bad and it's all going onto a credit card but I will cross that bridge when i have to pay it all off....

    much love, k

  3. The cost of IF is incredibly frustrating - but as waiting and wishing said - focus on the good right now, there is enough to worry about! Besides, hopefully you won't need to do another cycle!!

  4. omg yes... IF is a rollercoaster!! ugh. but like these lovely ladies said ... focus on the positive right now. Don't jump down the road too much. thinking of you and praying for you my friend.

    btw.. thank you for your well wishes earlier today. =)

    big hugs!

  5. Hey lady, there really are so many ups and downs with this process. I find it incredibly frustrating too. I am sorry.

    xoxo, taylor

  6. Hopefully u will have several eggs that fertilize and if you have to do another round of IVF you will have some extra to use. If you do then you won't need all the meds.

  7. I agree with the others - focus on the positive now! I find that if I start thinking down the road at all, I get really overwhelmed and frustrated!

    Hopefully, there will be no need for anything in the future!