Wedding Today

George and I are going to a friend's wedding today! I always look forward to happy events like this where everyone is smiling and in a good mood and there is so much joy in the air. And of course, there will be wedding cake.The only down-side is that lately, I feel like I'm always looking around and seeing pregnant women everywhere. I'm sure today will be no different. I am betting I will see at least four or five pregnant women. Is it just me? Or are there more pregnant women in the world right now than ever before?

I know it's just because my mind is fixated on it, but it stills seems like a lot more than normal. A pregnant belly or a new baby always used to make me smile and just light up inside. Now, even though I still get that sweet, happy feeling when I see someone about to have a baby or holding their newborn, there's also a twinge of sadness. I catch myself wondering if that will ever be me? It doesn't make me depressed or anything, there's just this moment of pause, you know? In truth, we really haven't been trying that long compared to some couples, but in my heart, I've been waiting for this for a very very long time. Yesterday was the due date of one of my friends and another actually did give birth to her new baby. They both got pregnant after George and I started trying. It's hard to think so much time has gone by already.

Today, I'm not going to wallow in some kind of self-pity when I see all these happy pregnant women and this new bride. I'm going to smile and think about how wonderful it will be this Christmas to go visit my family and be  more than two months pregnant already. I'm going to think about how I'll be pregnant on my 35th birthday and how next year, someone will throw me a baby shower and everyone will come to visit us in the hospital this time next summer to meet the new Bittmann baby(ies?).