First Ultrasound Decision

Thank you so much to everyone who weighed in about my question on when to schedule my first ultrasound. It means so much to me to hear everyone's side and be able to make a good decision. Sorry I haven't updated much lately. I've been trying to get back in the habit of writing again. I had originally planned for this month to be all about relaxing and staying low-stress and dealing with the IVF process in the best way I could without adding pressure as far as my career goes. With the amazing news of getting pregnant, I have also realized just how much needs to get done before baby. Most of which takes money. Which brings me back to my writing, haha.

But I do want to keep up with my blog, so here I am, and I'll be better about not skipping days this week. Plus, I wanted to give an update on my decision since so many people were awesome enough to leave suggestions and advice about the ultrasound.

At first, I called and scheduled it for October 26th. I would be 6w4d pregnant at that point. However, after reading your comments and agreeing that it would probably drive me even more crazy to go in and NOT have a definitive answer about the baby's heartbeat, I decided to call and have the u/s pushed back one week. Now, I'll be going in November 2nd, which is 7w4d into my pregnancy. I feel like it's a perfect compromise. Only a few days away from the 8 week mark that my doctor suggested, but still late enough that we should definitely be able to see a heartbeat and know that everything is okay.

This puts me 2 weeks and 2 days away from the ultrasound!! So it's back to another 2 week wait for me, hehe. In the meantime, I am trying to stay positive and know that everything is okay in there. Everything is unfolding exactly the way it's supposed to, for better or worse. And I am going to trust that journey.

Bathroom Organization Project

Now that I am expecting, I am starting to look around the house and realize how much needs to get done! I would love to say that I am one of these future mommies who keeps an immaculate 3000 square foot house with lots of storage and great organization and decoration. Unfortunately, we live in a townhouse that is only 1500 square feet and needs some serious work. Plus, dare I say it? I suck at housekeeping. I forget to dust. I don't vacuum nearly as often as I should. Closets start out somewhat organized or spare and then as I buy more and more things, they become disgustingly cluttered and disorganized. It's embarrassing, really. It's also not the kind of thing a woman is supposed to admit, but I have to be honest about where I am to understand where I want to go.

Trust me when I say I've been working on making a lot of improvements to myself in the past several years. Weight loss. Eating right. Exercise. A new career. Getting rid of negative self-talk. Fixing up the house has sort of taken a back seat. Also, we'd been living on my husband's income for several years so there hasn't been a ton of money to put into things like new carpet or fresh paint or storage systems. But now that there's a baby coming, I know we've got to start getting things organized around here. Thank goodness, I have a good career of my own now, but we'll still be on a budget for a while.

First and foremost, we're going to need the space! And better organization and cleanliness means more space all over the house. I decided there's no better time to start than the present. My first project? My bathroom. We have two bathrooms in our house, one in the master bedroom and one in the hallway that has general access. Since we had two, George took the master bathroom (that only has a shower) and I took the hall bath with the tub. Now, looks like I'll be sharing the hall bath with a baby and a someday, a toddler!

Okay, I'm going to share some pictures of my closet and under the sink. It's totally embarrassing because it's just so incredibly messy (easy to just close the door and forget the mess, lol), so please don't judge me! It's awful, I know! Thankfully, I have before and after pictures, and the after is so much better.

Bathroom closet before:

 

And after:

 I got rid of one huge bag of trash. Mostly, it was full of old hair products and lotions that I haven't used in months. I lined the shelves with removable decorative shelf paper. I re-purposed some CD bins I had in my office that weren't being used anymore and the only items I bought were the stackable sets of white bins at the bottom of the closet. Being on a budget, I was happy to find them in sets of 3 for less than $5 a set at Walmart. Each bin has a theme. Cleaning supplies. Bandages. Extra cotton balls. etc. Hopefully now that everything has its own place, it will be easier to keep clean.

Here is the before and after of the space under my sink. Terrible, I know! I've gotten in the habit of just throwing stuff down there. Yuck!

 

But look at it now!

 

I put lined the bottom and the back with the decorative shelf paper. All of my curling brushes and curling irons and straightening iron are all stored in the larger pink container. The white baskets in the center are for my makeup (which is usually strewn all over the counter). I put the makeup I only rarely use but wanted to keep in the bottom bin, and the one on top is full of the makeup and the brushes I use everyday. The basket on the right side is full of odds and ends.  Oh, and by the way, I threw out another large bag of trash from all the shampoos and such under the counter and old makeup I never used anymore. Ouch! It's awful to think about all the things I had just in this one room that I didn't use or need.

And I didn't just work on the closets and sink. I also put up a fresh new shower curtain and liner, new bathmats and cleaned the top of the sink and toilet. I don't like the color of the bathmats, though, so I want to exchange them before I take an overall picture of the bathroom.  

Honestly, I had really been hoping we could afford to buy a brand new house before a baby came, but it just isn't in the cards for us. The townhouse we live in now is one George bought a few years before we met. Since I didn't have any choice in picking it out, I'm not terribly attached to it. Okay, in some ways, I hate it, lol. But it's our home and I want to make it the nicest possible place it can be for our sweet new baby next June. There's a lot of work to do, but I'm going to do my best to take it one small project at a time. However, I have a feeling nine months is not really as long as it sounds!

Third Beta! And a Question...

I just got the results of my third beta. 519!!! So it more than doubled again and I can breathe easy for a little while, thank goodness. But I have a dilemma about the first ultrasound.

The nurse said I should schedule it for the week of November 6th. Ugh. SHe said they typically like to do the u/s one full month after the positive test. That would make me 8 weeks pregnant already. She said they do it because that way there's no chance you won't see the heart beating and the baby growing if everything is okay. I, of course, am not super happy with this timing. That's almost a month to wait!!

I expressed my unhappiness and she said I could schedule it for sooner, but that we might not be able to see a heartbeat and Dr. Toma would probably want me to come in again before 10 weeks just to make sure everything is okay. So what do you ladies think I should do? I actually called the nurse and scheduled an appointment for October 26th, which is only about 2 weeks away. I would be 6weeks, 4 days pregnant. I mean, almost everything I've read says that most people can see a heartbeat by then

George thinks I should do what the clinic recommends because he is scared that if we go in early and don't see a heartbeat, it will be catastrophic for me and I'll freak out. My worry is that what if there's just a sac and there's not really a baby growing in there? I don't want to happily think I'm pregnant and all is well for the next four weeks when I could have found out in 2. /sigh. Am I overthinking this?

I'm debating whether to call and reschedule back to a later week or just go in for the 6 week one and risk not seeing a heartbeat by then? But they would at least be able to tell if there's a tiny fetus that's growing on schedule, right? I guess mentally and emotionally, I would rather know something is wrong earlier rather than later. Any advice?

Second Beta

Oops, I forgot to update with my second beta results on Saturday! They were great. I went up from 70 to 203!! I feel really good about that so far. I go in for a third beta tomorrow and am praying for a really nice number above 406.

My progesterone, which started at 12.6, was up to 23.7, so the prometrium is doing its job. The cramping has stopped almost completely, which is good. But then I'm not feeling as pregnant as I was before because of it, which starts to worry me too. I guess I'm going to be concerned either way, haha. I think I will be much calmer if my hCG has gone up the way it should. Still, I don't think I'll begin to relax until I see the little peanut on the screen and hopefully see a heartbeat.

Thank you everyone for all the good wishes!

The Most AMAZING News!!!!!

As all of you know, I was scheduled to begin IVF tomorrow. We just found out officially yesterday that there is no need for IVF, because I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!

I am absolutely over the moon excited. I can't even describe to you how I am feeling right now. Grateful. Shocked. Scared. Happy beyond words.

Let me tell you what happened.(I blogged it before, but I'm repeating because I'm exciting!) Two weeks ago, my doctor wanted me to come in so he could check whether I was ovulating on my own or not. If not, he was going to give me 2 weeks of birth control pills before my IVF cycle. If I was, they were just going to let me ovulate and wait for AF to come naturally. I was supposed to go in Monday the 26th for an ultrasound and blood draw. I got a positive OPK on the 22nd and called my nurse, asking if I could come on Friday instead. I just had a feeling I was O'ing a little early and wanted to check to make sure we got the timing right.

When I went in on Friday, the 23rd, they found a large 22mm follie on my left side! I was amazed! Before when they were checking me, I never had a follicle on my own like that. Even with Clomid, we never had such a large, healthy looking follicle. The nurse called me back that afternoon and said that even though my follicle looked good, I didn't have hardly any progesterone in my system. Basically, I had the mature egg, but my body was actually ready to ovulate it. She asked me to come back in and they gave me a trigger shot.

We had some seriously fun and exciting BD'ing that weekend, haha. Still, I wasn't expecting a pregnancy! This weekend as we drove to Hilton Head to see my family, it was raining. I looked over and saw this beautiful rainbow and I just felt in my heart that it was there for me. I felt that God was telling me to stop worrying, that everything was going to be okay. We had the most amazing weekend with my family. Then on Sunday, George woke up and said he'd had this very vivid dream about us having identical twin boys. He told me I should take a pregnancy test when we got home.

Let me tell you, at this point, I had completely forgotten about the trigger shot. It's been since Feb. that I last had one, so I didn't think about it at all. So imagine my surprise when I got a BFP on my pregnancy test that night. I was only 8 DPO and 9 days past trigger. We were exciting and believing I could really be pregnant. Then, I remembered the trigger shot and my heart just fell. Crap! Not a real BFP but a stupid false + from the trigger. Poop.

But George was convinced I was really pregnant. I went out and bought more tests, lol. 9DPO there was still a line, but it looked lighter. I was pretty sure it was trigger leaving my system, but there was a part of me thinking, wow. 10 days after the trigger and it's still showing up? Before, when I tested out my trigger, it was always a stark white BFN by 8 days later, so I had some hope, but was just not sure. I tested again the next morning. Still positive! Hope crept in even more, but I was so scared to really believe! Another darker BFP 11 DPO (12 days past trigger) and I was starting to believe. BUT there was so much doubt. I didn't want to believe it and then have it turn out it was just that stupid trigger staying in my system!

I called my nurse and asked her if it could be the trigger and she said yes. Ugh. Not helping! LOL. She said to come in as planned on Thursday, 12DPO and 13 days past trigger, to get a blood test to verify for sure. If not pregnant, we would have the pharmacy ship my IVF meds.

So, I went in very nervously yesterday morning for the blood draw. Then I waited all day with knots in my stomach. She finally called me yesterday around 1:45 PM. Positive beta at 70!! She said they normally will look for anything 50 or above at 14 days past trigger, and since I was already 70 at 13 days past, they felt that was high and perfect! My progesterone was only 12.6., which she said is a touch low, so they prescribed prometrium as a vaginal insert to help with progesterone.

The news hit my heart like a firework. Like a blossoming bomb of joy. I can't even tell you what it felt like to hear those words. "You're Pregnant!" WHAT?? ME?? No way!!!!! I just can't believe it!! My EDD is June 16th!!! It's one of the greatest joys of my life, and I can't believe after all these months of preparing for IVF, I actually got pregnant without it! It's a miracle!

I honestly feel in the deepest part of my heart that it's all the changes I've made recently that allowed this to happen. Acupuncture, Organic foods, Low glycemic Index, lots of exercise, losing more than 5% body fat. For PCOS, I think this shows that diet and exercise really can make a difference. Nothing is guaranteed, and of course I stll wouldn't have ovulated on my own if it hadn't been for the trigger, but I feel really excited and so incredibly grateful everything worked out the way it did. I can't believe that instead of going in for a baseline u/s and my first stims tomorrow, I'll be going in for a second beta!! I pray with all my heart that the number has doubled by tomorrow morning.

I've been having some definitely cramping. Feels like AF cramps, to be honest, but no bleeding, thank God. My nurse said it's from the low progesterone and the inserts should help. So far, today, not much cramping so hopefully the progesterone is doing its job. Please, dear God, let this baby stick and be healthy!!! I'll update again tomorrow with my new beta numbers!!!!

Can you believe it?? I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!

Trigger Shot Question - HELP!

Hi friends, I have a question for all of you who have had trigger shots in the past. How long has the trigger stayed in your system? The first few times I was given a 10,000 iu trigger shot, I used internet cheapies in order to test out the trigger. I started the day after the trigger shot and tested each day until the line disappeared. Each time, I had a negative test by 8 days after the trigger shot. Still, I've read that on average, the rule of thumb is that about 1000 units leave your body per day, so a 10,000 unit shot would take about 10 days to leave your system.

So just out of curiosity, I was wondering if any of you have ever tested out your trigger shots? Have you ever had a false positive as late as 12 days past your trigger shot? I've read on some forums that some women still have enough trigger in their system as late as 13 days past trigger or longer, but I'm wondering how likely that is. I'm not ready to explain exactly why I'm asking, but I would really appreciate any feedback on this!

My Sweet Mother

I had such an amazing weekend in Hilton Head. It was exactly what I needed! George and I got there late on Friday evening. My parents had already been there for a few hours and we all sat up until after one in the morning talking! (And my parents aren't usually up past ten-thirty, hehe.) The rest of the weekend was so incredibly relaxing. We walked on the beach. Walked to the top of the lighthouse. Went shopping (omg, I bought the most amazing purple leather jacket!). Then had dinner outside on the patio of a great seafood restaurant on the water. Great company. Amazing conversations. I felt so loved and supported, full of positive energy and hope.

I'm pretty sure my Mom is just about the sweetest person on the planet, also. She brought me three things for my IVF shots table and survival kit.

First, a pink baby blanket her grandmother made for me when I was a baby. I slept with it and snuggled in it when I was tiny. It's beautiful and perfect! And did I mention pink? Hehe. Maybe it will be good luck and bring us twin girls, lol. Of course I will be more than thrilled with a boy or a girl, but I have always wanted a little girl, so we'll see! My husband had this crazy-vivid dream the other night that we had twin boys, though, and he's often very intuitive! I would be happy with twin boys!

Second, she brought my cabbage patch kid from when I was a little girl! I used to carry this doll around everywhere, haha. Mom went up into the attic to find it. She's still wearing a dress my own grandmother made for her. And she still has lipstick smeared all over her face, lol. I remember putting that on her.

And finally, she brought me this small round box. Inside, it is filled with small wrapped presents. One for each day of shots. How sweet is that? I wasn't expecting it, but I know it will put a huge smile on my face during the tough times. I was so incredibly touched by the gifts she brought. I don't even know what's in the box, but it's not even so much what's in the wrapped gifts as the thought she put into it and the time she spent putting it all together. It means the world to me and lets me know I have all the support in the world.

I can't believe I'm only 5 days away from starting shots! I will go in early on Thursday morning for a blood test to make sure I'm not pregnant. It's really just a formality to make sure I don't have my meds delivered and paid for, then realize I don't need IVF! In the back of my mind, I know it's a possibility, but at the same time, I know it's a super slim chance and probably not worth really thinking about. I'm full speed ahead with IVF and fully intending to start meds this weekend.

I really hope and pray that AF comes on time and doesn't mess with me by coming late. I'm so ready to get started. Have I said that already? Haha. It's so true. I feel so good right now. I feel positive and very hopeful. I know the craziness will probably come soon and the roller coaster of emotions will take me from high to low on a daily basis, but I'm hoping for a big high at the end of this to make it all worth it.