16 / 17 Week Update

Wow, I've been slacking on my posts!! Since I am finally feeling a lot better these days (yay for no morning sickness!!!!), I have been working about 10 hours a day on my novel. I am working my butt off to get it published by January 20th, so it's been a whirlwind of a past couple of weeks with both work and the holidays and such. But I needed a break from the novel, so I wanted to give a brief update on what's been going on with the pregnancy.

How Far Along: 17 weeks tomorrow

Picture of Baby:













My Baby This Week: Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop. (From www.babycenter.com)

Weight Gain: 7.5 pounds. Not bad! I am trying to keep it below 25 pounds for the entire pregnancy, so I feel like I'm actually pretty much on track.

Baby Bump:

Sleep: I love my snoogle pillow!! It gives me great support and it's helping me be able to sleep on my side. Overall, I think I'm sleeping much better. I crave naps all the time, but I find that when I do nap, I usually feel groggy and have a headache afterward, so I've been trying to avoid them. Basically, that means a lot of tired days, but I'd rather be tired than feeling sick.

Best Moment of the Week: Technically, this didn't happen this week, but my best moment since my last update was telling my family that we are having a baby boy! Everyone was so excited and surprised (since it's all been girls so far in our family). It was a fun moment that left a perma-smile on my face.

Movement: I want to be feeling this baby move! I still haven't felt any flutters yet, though. On Sunday night, I felt something strange, but it was there and gone so fast, I can't be sure it was the baby. Nothing more since then. At the gender u/s she said I had an anterior placenta and it might be a while before I can feel the baby since he's kicking the placenta instead of me most of the time. Boo!! I know it's coming though and I absolutely can't wait!

Symptoms: Heartburn!! I actually bought little plastic containers and filled them with tums so I can put one in each of my purses, by my bedside, in the bathroom, and in my laptop bag. Ha! I'm still tired, but it's nothing like it was at the beginning. I feel great overall and am so happy to be pregnant and having things progress so well!

Food Cravings: Root Beer. How's that for a strange craving? I'm trying to stay away from it, though, because of the sugar content. Still, sometimes I just can't resist.

What I Miss: Nothing right now. I'm honestly just happy with how things are right now.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Feeling the baby move. Also, our anatomy ultrasound on Monday. I hope everything looks great and the baby is growing well. Since we declined any other genetic testing, this will be the first real look at whether there are any indications of Down's or anything like that. I pray everything looks healthy.

Weekly Wisdom: Even if the beginning is tough, hang in there and just stay positive! Better times are coming!

Milestones: Finding out the gender! Baby Boy Bittmann is now officially Andrew George Bittmann :). It's so much fun to be able to start planning the nursery and baby registry. In fact, we already bought our bedding set for Andrew's room.  Exciting!

Emotions: I am overwhelmed with happiness these days. Everything is really finally starting to feel real and I am getting comfortable in the fact that this baby is really going to be our baby boy! I think I was holding back in my excitement at first, but now it's all really happening. Getting so close to halfway now!!

Good things are happening. Monday's ultrasound will be our last official ultrasound as long as everything looks good. It's hard to believe we won't be able to see our little man for the rest of the pregnancy, but at the same time, it will mean he's healthy, which is awesome. Also, we are very close to starting our Hypnobabies birthing class! That starts January 21st, and I absolutely can't wait! Now, I just have to get this novel published first and I can start really working on the nursery and getting the house in order.

It's A....

BOY!!!!!

Definitely crazy excited to share this news with you! I never really pictured myself with a son (always had thought I would have a little girl someday), but the second the u/s tech said boy, I felt so overwhelmed with love and excitement. I announced the gender to my family on Christmas eve and they couldn't be more excited. This will be the first grandson in the family as my sister and brother both have little girls. I didn't do anything too crazy for the gender reveal, but I did decorate plain brown paper bags, then put a little blue surprise inside. Here are a couple of pics.

The little surprise was simple - just tulle circles filled with kisses and tied with a blue ribbon and a tiny little blue pacifier charm. Cheap, but fun! I passed out bags to everyone in my family and had them open them at the same time.

And here are the beautiful pics of our baby boy.

We will have our big anatomy scan on January 9th, so they will be able to tell us without a doubt what the gender is, but the technician at the 3D place was pretty sure it's a boy. Also, I'm sure I've mentioned that my acupuncturist also thought boy since week 11.

We are going to name him ANDREW GEORGE BITTMANN. Such exciting news to be able to share at the holidays. Looking back over 2011, it's hard to believe one year could be full of so much sadness, yet end with so much happiness.

My sincere prayer is for those of you out there who are still struggling with infertility to find your happiness and have your dreams come true in 2012.

14 Weeks and Our 2 Year Anniversary

Today is mine and George's 2nd anniversary!! We had such a happy weekend together, it was amazing. He came home early from work on Friday and surprised me with a beautiful black diamond necklace. Very sweet and very unexpected!! This is going to sound like such cheese, but we spent Friday evening starting a new MMO together - Star Wars, The Old Republic. If you remember our history, George and I met playing Everquest II. We started out internet friends, grouping together in game and hanging out, then it progressed to chatting on ventrilo and then webcam and by phone, and finally, meeting in person. Gaming is an important part of our friendship and we may be nerds, but we have fun together! EQII has kind of been boring lately, so when this new game came out, we decided to give it a try. We are definitely having a lot of fun with it, and it's a great way to spend time together.

Saturday morning we got a couples massage, OMG. It was amazing. George had a deep tissue massage and I had a pregnancy massage. We both left feeling so happy and relaxed. We spent the whole day together, taking a long walk, napping, just hanging out, then went to an early dinner at our favorite Japanese Hibachi Steakhouse. YUM! We ended up sitting at the bar for over an hour afterward (so George could finish his Sake, so sad I couldn't have some!) just talking, which was great. Sunday was more relaxing and walking together, and I love every minute we spend together.

It's such a happy place we're in this year. We're still so very much in love with each other. And now we have a baby on the way!!! I couldn't ask for more in life. Here is a recent picture of us together. I was very newly pregnant here, but had no idea yet. Hehe. How exciting!

And for the most recent pregnancy update!

How Far Along: 14 weeks

My Baby This Week: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Your baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active. (From www.babycenter.com)

Weight Gain: 8 lbs. Ouch! At least 4 lbs of this has to be in my boobs, ha.

Baby Bump: Definitely popping out now! I love to see this little baby bump and am looking forward to watching it grow.

Sleep: Getting better the more I get used to the Snoogle pillow and to sleeping on my side. The massage helped a lot too in working out some of the knots in my shoulder. I think I'm getting over some of the fatigue too and don't need quite as much sleep as I did in the beginning.

Best Moment of The Week: Anniversary dinner, realizing that this will be our last anniversary as a couple. Next year and from here on out, we will be a family of three! So exciting!

Symptoms: Heartburn. Ugh. It sucks!! Tums are my best friend these days. If the old wives tale is true, this baby is going to have some serious hair when he/she comes out! Still a little nausea, but I got a fresh scrip for Zofran and am hoping this will carry me through the last of it. My breasts are still sore, especially the nips. I hope that means my body is working great and is getting ready to produce lots of milk!

Food Cravings: Nothing specific still. After such a great dinner Sat. though, I might start craving Japanese, hehe.

What I Miss: Being able to have a glass or two of Sake at dinner. It's not a big deal, really, but it's weird to think it will be such a long time before I can drink again.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Friday's Gender Ultrasound. OMG, I'm dying to hear the news!!!!

Weekly Wisdom: No matter how bad I feel, I never want to take a single moment of this experience for granted. I'm so blessed to be pregnant.

Emotions: I'm Lady Waterworks these days. Lots of tears, but mostly joyful tears. :)

13 Weeks

Yay! I made it through the most difficult/dangerous part of the pregnancy. I know there are differing opinions on when the second trimester begins (even in my own OB office, one nurse said 12 weeks, but the midwife said 14, lol), but I am going to go ahead and proclaim that I have officially hit the second trimester! I definitely feel a little bit better. The nausea is mostly gone, (yippee!!) except for a few early morning quease sessions. It's so much more manageable, which is awesome.

Also, I am off the progesterone supplements and the metformin. I was incredibly nervous about coming off of these medications at first, but now that it's been about a week, I am feeling better. I am incredibly happy that I bought the Sonoline fetal doppler so that I can hear the baby's heartbeat whenever I want to. It's given me a lot of peace of mind to hear that strong heartbeat. So here's my official 13 week update:

How Far Along: 13 weeks

My Baby This Week:

Weight Gain: 6 lbs. Not bad for the first trimester I guess. It's a little more than I wanted to gain, and now that I'm off the metformin, I'm a little bit nervous that the weight will come on even faster. I am going to have to be a lot more careful about what I'm eating. I also need to make sure to be better about exercise. We've been trying to walk about 2 miles a day, but I keep missing days. (oops!)

Baby Bump: My bump is finally starting to grow! It's still small, but I'm posting two pics - the one I took at 4 weeks just after we found out I was preggers, and the one I just took on Saturday evening. You can start to see the little bit of bump growing! It's very exciting.

Sleep: This is definitely the tough spot for me right now. I bought one of those Snoogle pregnancy pillows, and it seems to be helping some. Still, my body is achy. It's surprising that I'm having body aches this early in my pregnancy. I wasn't expecting that. I've had a hard time sleeping all the way through the night, and when I wake up in the morning, I feel stiff. I normally sleep on my back, so it's tough to make the switch to side sleeping. Hopefully this discomfort won't last the entire rest of the pregnancy.

Best Moment of the Week: Buying my new pregnancy full belly panel jeans. They are so incredibly comfy and they look great on me. Ahhh, what a relief to get out of my regular jeans.

Symptoms: Nausea and fatigue are definitely starting to go away, which is an amazing relief. My worst symptoms right now are the body aches and discomfort when I sleep.Also, my nipples are killing me lately. This may be TMI (ha!) but when I go outside and it's cold, my nipples scream out in pain. It literally feels like they are on fire. Same thing when I am in the shower. My breasts might be a little bigger as well.

Food Cravings: I have been absolutely craving cupcakes lately. Every time I see one, my mouth waters like crazy. Still, I have been a good girl and haven't given in to the temptation. Right now, I'm trying to steer clear of things that are pure sugar. I'm scared of getting GD, so I'm trying to be good!

What I Miss: Being able to get a full night's sleep without waking up or feeling achy.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Our gender ultrasound on the 23rd!!! I can't wait to see if we'll be able to find out if we're having a girl or a boy. I'm so excited!!!

Weekly Wisdom: Pregnancy is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I need to stop being so hard on myself and just keep in mind that my body is going through a lot right now. It's okay if I'm not superwoman.

Milestones: Made it through the first trimester!!!

Emotions: A little out of control. I mean, I cried today at an Onstar commercial on the radio. Seriously.

10 week Update - A little late... oops!

Hi everyone! I know I'm late with my 10 week update. And I do keep meaning to blog more frequently. Unfortunately, I'm having one hell of a time with morning sickness and just generally not feeling well - which in turn makes it not so fun to be on the computer or sitting up in general :P. LOL. Yes, I think I'm a wimp when it comes to pregnancy.

Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy. Just tired of feeling like crap all the time. At least I know it's for a good cause, haha. The best cause really. But at this point, I am definitely praying for a second trimester respite.

How Far Along - 10 weeks!!

Picture of Baby - Not exactly a picture this week, but something pretty cool anyway. I bought a fetal doppler and we were able to find the baby's heartbeat!!! We shot a quick video of the very first time we heard the baby's heartbeat. The video is awful because I had to use a free converter that put all these words on the screen, but it's really the audio that counts, so I'm going to post it here.

I am trying not to use the doppler all the time, but it's definitely tempting. The heartbeat is such a beautiful sound!!!

My Baby This Week -

Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.

He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.

Weight Gain - 4 lbs total now. My waist is definitely starting to get bigger! And yes, my boobs are much bigger too!

Sleep - I think my sleep is getting better in general. Less of the super vivid dreams, though I did have another nightmare about my ex husband last night. WTF is that all about? I would rather not be thinking of him at all, but somehow my psyche is bringing him into my nightmares. No bueno.

Best Moment of the Week - Definitely hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time.

Symptoms - The nausea never lets up. Actually, I did have a couple of good days here and there, but nothing great. And I only have 2 of the original 20 zofran left and I am saving them for Thanksgiving, just in case. That's the worst of the worst as far as symptoms.

Food Cravings - I have definitely had a craving for cupcakes this past week. Strange, huh? I even have dreams about them, LOL. But I haven't given into temptation yet. I know my body doesn't need that extra sugar!

What I Miss - Feeling good.

What I'm Looking Forward To - A more energetic, less nauseated second trimester. Please?

Milestones - Hearing the baby's heartbeat, for sure!

Emotions - I am always grateful and extremely happy to be pregnant. However, this past week, the constancy of the nausea is really bringing me down. It just feels so relentless. I've never felt this bad for so long in my life, and it's turning out to be a lot harder than I thought it would be. Inevitably, this has an effect on my mood and my general emotional self. Hoping to just push through it. I remind myself daily of how blessed I am and that my body is doing some seriously hard work right now growing our little miracle.

8 weeks! Man, time flies!

I can't believe it's already been more than a week since my last post. I don't know where the time has gone. I think once I got to see our baby's heartbeat and some of that worry melted away, time just started slipping by. I promise to be better at updating!

How Far Along - 8 Weeks!!

My Baby This Week - New this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it. (From www.babycenter.com)

Weight Gain - 3 lbs. Ouch! I can't believe I'm already gaining weight. I'm eating way too much to try to keep the nausea at bay.

Sleep - Dreams are the story of my life. Well, that and getting up to pee. My sleep is riddled with crazy vivid dreams, then I wake up, have to get up to pee, then I go back to sleep and start dreaming all over again. It's wild! I never wake up feeling like I got a really good night's sleep.

Best Moment Of The Week - Buying my first maternity clothes! I guess this could also be labeled as the most depressing moment of the week, haha, but I'm trying to look at it in a positive light. Yes, I'm only 8 weeks along, but my normal jeans feel so tight on my belly. I bought a few bella bands, but then I feel like my pants are falling down all day. So I went to Old Navy and bought some new maternity leggings (super comfy and cheap) and a pair of their maternity jeans. The low rise ones, because I figured the full panel belly would be too big for me right now. It was actually fun to be looking through the maternity clothes. I've been waiting for this for a long time! Besides, I figure I'd rather be comfortable than worry about whether or not it's too early for maternity.

Movement - From what I've read, the baby is probably moving around quite a bit in there, but I still can't feel it yet. Can't wait until I do, but I know that's still a while yet!

Symptoms - My breasts are decidedly bigger, but they are hurting less than they were in the beginning. I am still fighting against constant fatigue and awful nausea, but the zofran helps. They only gave me 20 pills in my prescription, so I've only been taking them when I absolutely know I'm going to throw up, lol.

Food Cravings - I'm still in a phase where nothing really sounds good to me most of the time. I used to love doughnuts and sweets, but right now, the thought of eating some cake or a doughnut or something turns my stomach. Guess that's a blessing, really, considering I've already started gaining weight. Man, if I was craving sweets, I'd be in serious trouble!

What I Miss - Being able to sleep all the way through the night without getting up.

What I'm Looking Forward To - Getting to see the baby again on an ultrasound next week. Hope we get to hear the heartbeat this time!

Emotions - Feeling so happy and so incredibly grateful. I have a peace now about this baby, feeling that it was just meant to be and everything is going to be okay.

Motivation

All along, I knew October was going to be a slow production month. After all, I'd planned on this being my IVF month. I thought I would be feeling ill and bloated and scared and nervous and completely not creative. Well, the truth is that even though I'm pregnant, I'm still feeling ill and bloated and scared and nervous, lol. For some reason, when I found out I was expecting, I thought I would suddenly have all this renewed energy and be able to be creative and work hard. Boy was I wrong!

I always imagined that after such a long struggle to get pregnant, once the news finally came in, I would be so happy that none of the morning sickness or fatigue would phase me. Haha. I guess reality is often very different from what we think it's going to be. I never expected how much this constant tiredness or unyielding nausea would knock me on my ass. Yet here I am, struggling.

Don't get me wrong! I'm enormously happy, and that alone gives me energy. However, these days I'm spending my energy in a not-so-productive way. I know that what I need to be doing right now is working hard. This is one of the drawbacks of working for yourself, lol. I have complete control over how I spend my day. No one is making me work any certain hours. No one is expecting me to turn in any work. It's all up to me. And when I'm not feeling extremely well, it's hard to work up the motivation to work on a new novel.

Of course, no new novels means no new money, haha. And right now, there's so many things I want to buy! There's all the baby stuff, nursery decor, clothes, etc. Then there's new carpet for the house, which I desperately want. And even though it's nowhere near a necessity, I would love to have a new car. Something with more room. I know money isn't the most important thing in life, but it would definitely mean less stress when the baby arrives.

I happen to be in the lucky position that I can make extra money by writing more books. So why can't I write? AHHHH. Trust me, I'm trying. Unfortunately, my focus has gone all wonky. When I have time and energy, I always end up browsing baby or maternity shopping sites, reading about labor and delivery or breastfeeding, looking at different nursery options, etc. I know all that stuff is normal and that it's okay to be daydreaming and browsing these sites. However, it doesn't need to be happening at the sacrifice of my writing and career.

So how do I get back into it? How do I find my motivation again for writing when all I can think about is babies?! Hehe. Does anyone have any tips or suggestions? Or is it just a matter of time? I keep wondering if I'm just slightly paralyzed mentally until I pass this milestone of the first ultrasound. Once I see that heartbeat and know that everything is okay, will it unlock a door inside that allows me to go back to my regular life, in a way? Is any of this making sense? LOL. Mostly, I'm just rambling and thinking through this, I guess. :P. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a more productive day.

Questioning

Lately, I have been feeling so incredibly grateful. It is truly a miracle that I am pregnant right now without having to go through our planned IVF cycle. It's honestly been hard to wrap my mind around this whole thing. I spent months preparing for IVF, reading every book and website I could get my hands on, asking a million questions, and doing my best to mentally become prepared for the rollercoaster of daily shots and everything that goes along with it. But then, to find out two days before shots were to begin that I am pregnant? It was like having my entire world flipped upside down, but in the most beautiful way imaginable.

In some ways, however, it's difficult to really believe this is real. I am so scared to really settle into it, you know? It was given to me at a time when I least expected it, and I guess there's a part of me that is scared that it can be taken away just as quickly.

I'm not saying that I'm not grateful or extremely happy. I am!! Believe me!! It's just still seeming so very surreal, you know? And I also have been questioning why something like this happens? Why would I get pregnant right before IVF when so many other women struggle through several rounds with nothing but heartache? Why can't every woman who wants to get pregnant get pregnant? It just doesn't seem fair and the whole process of TTC is such a whirlwind.

Of course, some of my friends actually said to me, "See? All you needed to do was relax and now you're pregnant! You probably just knew IVF was coming up and were relaxed knowing everything was going to be okay." Ha! I just smiled and nodded, but honestly? Anyone who has read my blog or knows what I've been going through over the past couple of months knows that I was anything but relaxed. I don't feel that it had anything to do with how relaxed I was or any of that. I think it had more to do with the fact that this was just my journey. I am exactly where I am supposed to be and everything has fallen into place. I have no idea why, but I do know that I am extremely blessed.

Still, I sometimes read through the blogs of friends who are still going through their IVF journey and I almost feel guilty. I know that sounds crazy, in some ways. But it's just me being honest. I feel guilty when I read about someone else's heartaches. Why? I ask this question all the time. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? What can I do to make sure I don't lose it? I know these are all questions that have no answers, but it doesn't keep my brain from spinning.

My prayer that goes up right now is for all women who want to be pregnant and want to be mothers will be blessed with a healthy pregnancy. Sooner rather than later.

First Ultrasound Decision

Thank you so much to everyone who weighed in about my question on when to schedule my first ultrasound. It means so much to me to hear everyone's side and be able to make a good decision. Sorry I haven't updated much lately. I've been trying to get back in the habit of writing again. I had originally planned for this month to be all about relaxing and staying low-stress and dealing with the IVF process in the best way I could without adding pressure as far as my career goes. With the amazing news of getting pregnant, I have also realized just how much needs to get done before baby. Most of which takes money. Which brings me back to my writing, haha.

But I do want to keep up with my blog, so here I am, and I'll be better about not skipping days this week. Plus, I wanted to give an update on my decision since so many people were awesome enough to leave suggestions and advice about the ultrasound.

At first, I called and scheduled it for October 26th. I would be 6w4d pregnant at that point. However, after reading your comments and agreeing that it would probably drive me even more crazy to go in and NOT have a definitive answer about the baby's heartbeat, I decided to call and have the u/s pushed back one week. Now, I'll be going in November 2nd, which is 7w4d into my pregnancy. I feel like it's a perfect compromise. Only a few days away from the 8 week mark that my doctor suggested, but still late enough that we should definitely be able to see a heartbeat and know that everything is okay.

This puts me 2 weeks and 2 days away from the ultrasound!! So it's back to another 2 week wait for me, hehe. In the meantime, I am trying to stay positive and know that everything is okay in there. Everything is unfolding exactly the way it's supposed to, for better or worse. And I am going to trust that journey.