My New Blog!

Yippee! I talked about this in my post yesterday, but today I finally have my design finished and my first post up. I definitely plan to still follow all of you and keep commenting on your blogs. I hope that you will follow me to the new blog. It looks lonely over there with no friends yet, haha. From now on, I probably won't be posting here anymore, as all of my pregnancy posts and family news will go to the new site. I would love to keep up with both blogs, but let's be honest, lol. I can barely keep up with all my blogs (professional and personal) as it is. :P

So, here is my new blog. The Bittmann Family. Stop by and say hello, and I hope to keep updates coming much more frequently over there. Thanks everyone!!

Hard to Keep Up!

Happy Valentine's Day! George and I aren't planning anything fancy - just a movie (no dinner plans because the GD makes things more difficult, blah). But it should still be a fun evening together! Hope you all have something fun planned too.

I also wanted to apologize for not updating very often lately. Keeping up with the blog has been increasingly difficult. The reason behind it is two-fold really.

1) My brain is all over the place! I'm working on another book and am determined to have it out before baby Andrew gets here. It's important to me to be able to take a few months off after he's born, which means the book needs to be D.O.N.E. Plus, then there's a first baby shower coming up, the registry had to be completed, the baby's room needs to be cleaned out and get painted and there's just so much to do.

2) The second reason is because I feel like this blog was more for me to talk through the pain of infertility. I needed this as a place to spill my heart and deal with those pains and frustrations. I know most of the friends I've made through this blog are at different parts of their journeys - some are pregnant and some are still struggling. It's sometimes hard to gush about how happy I am when I know there are others still waiting for that good news. I know how difficult it was for me to read posts like that from other women when I was still not pregnant. Even though I was happy for them, there was still that feeling of why not me? When will it be my turn? For that, I feel like I need to hold myself back from really talking openly about my pregnancy.

So, I've decided to create a new blog! I had Faith design a new blog for me (which I LOVE, she's so awesome!). I haven't yet made any posts, but I will be linking it here as soon as I get it all set up and ready to go. I hope that those of you interested in following my pregnancy will follow me over there.

I certainly don't want or intend to abandon my friends I've made through this blog, so I will definitely still be following all of your posts and cheering you on through whatever your journey is right now. I just feel that a new blog is the right solution for me. One I can share with my friends and family openly (this blog was a little too painful at one time to share with everyone in my life), and one where I can talk openly about my pregnancy and share pictures of the baby once he comes without feeling guilt.

I hope this isn't coming off wrong. I just want to make sure I'm being sensitive to everyone, you know? You've all become very important to me. I hope that many of you will follow me over to the new blog. I promise I will post a link as soon as it's up and running!!

Gestational Diabetes

I found out yesterday that I have Gestational Diabetes. This news has hit me quite hard, even though in a way, I was expecting it. I have PCOS, but along with that, I am also insulin resistant. My blood sugars have never been so crazy out of control that anyone diagnosed me with diabetes, but it was definitely something I was concerned about. When I first went to my OB/Midwife appointment back in November, I mentioned this concern and worry, especially when they told me that I would come off Metformin at 12 weeks. The midwife basically argued with me for over 10 minutes about the issue, claiming that I couldn't be insulin resistant without being diabetic and that PCOS had nothing to do with insulin resistance. I seriously wanted to choke her. I told her that I had a pre-existing condition and told her exactly where to find my labwork that showed I did have some issues with insulin.

At my second appointment, the midwife (a new one this time b/c the practice rotates several) acted as if she'd never heard this news. She didn't understand why I wanted an early glucose test. She just stared at me with a blank face and said they do the GD test at 25 weeks and there was no need to do it early. I insisted, expressing again that I was concerned about it. Finally, I was scheduled for a test at around 19 weeks (last Thursday). They just called me back yesterday at almost 5 in the afternoon to tell me that not only were my levels high, they were so incredibly high I won't even have to do a 3 hour glucose test. She used the words "Dangerously high", which of course freaked me out. Anything over 140 is bad, right? My level was 232. She then said that I would be sent to see a specialist at Duke, but when I asked when the appointment would be, she just said, "Well, if they don't call you within the next week or two, give us a call back." WHAT?? A week or two? You can't say my levels are dangerously high and then tell me it might be two weeks before anyone bothers to explain to me how to deal with these levels or begins to monitor me. I was both devastated and angry.

I went in this morning and demanded to talk to someone in patient services. I explained the problems I've had so far with the practice and that I haven't felt like I was taken seriously with my concerns. The woman agreed that some mistakes were made. For example, there was not a single note in my file about me having previous insulin resistance. She said I should have been treated from the very beginning as a diabetic patient rather than just let this go untreated. I'm so upset. I don't know whether to stay at this practice or try to find a new doctor. She said she would mark my file as MD only from now on so that I won't have to go in and see the midwives. There are 2 OB's at this practice. Ironically, I chose this practice specifically because of the fact that they have midwives. I felt I would get a better level of care and personal attention, but that hasn't been the case at all. I've been rushed through every appointment and had to argue my way through both this insulin issue as well as details of my due date, ultrasounds, etc. But I also know that switching practices mid-way through my pregnancy could be a real ordeal. Will insurance cover everything? How do I know another practice will be better? How do I find a better practice? I have no idea what I should do, to be honest.

This news of GD comes with a whole new set of fears. Will I have to be induced now? Will I need insulin shots? Is my baby going to suffer because of this? Will he be healthy? Will he be too big for me to have a natural birth? Is he growing okay in there? It's such a scary thing. I know there are plenty of women who have gestational diabetes and who go on to have perfectly healthy babies, so right now I am trying to concentrate on the positive, but it's so much easier said than done. I am going to have to be super diligent about eating well and eating low carb, high protein for the next 20 weeks. I also need to get more exercise in and make sure it's every single day. I hate that my gym closed, because that would have been an ideal place to go walk on the treadmill every day even when it's cold outside or raining. I just want everything to be okay.

Sorry this post has been kind of a rant out of nowhere, but it's been a tough day for me, and I'm so scared. I hope my baby is okay.

16 / 17 Week Update

Wow, I've been slacking on my posts!! Since I am finally feeling a lot better these days (yay for no morning sickness!!!!), I have been working about 10 hours a day on my novel. I am working my butt off to get it published by January 20th, so it's been a whirlwind of a past couple of weeks with both work and the holidays and such. But I needed a break from the novel, so I wanted to give a brief update on what's been going on with the pregnancy.

How Far Along: 17 weeks tomorrow

Picture of Baby:













My Baby This Week: Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop. (From www.babycenter.com)

Weight Gain: 7.5 pounds. Not bad! I am trying to keep it below 25 pounds for the entire pregnancy, so I feel like I'm actually pretty much on track.

Baby Bump:

Sleep: I love my snoogle pillow!! It gives me great support and it's helping me be able to sleep on my side. Overall, I think I'm sleeping much better. I crave naps all the time, but I find that when I do nap, I usually feel groggy and have a headache afterward, so I've been trying to avoid them. Basically, that means a lot of tired days, but I'd rather be tired than feeling sick.

Best Moment of the Week: Technically, this didn't happen this week, but my best moment since my last update was telling my family that we are having a baby boy! Everyone was so excited and surprised (since it's all been girls so far in our family). It was a fun moment that left a perma-smile on my face.

Movement: I want to be feeling this baby move! I still haven't felt any flutters yet, though. On Sunday night, I felt something strange, but it was there and gone so fast, I can't be sure it was the baby. Nothing more since then. At the gender u/s she said I had an anterior placenta and it might be a while before I can feel the baby since he's kicking the placenta instead of me most of the time. Boo!! I know it's coming though and I absolutely can't wait!

Symptoms: Heartburn!! I actually bought little plastic containers and filled them with tums so I can put one in each of my purses, by my bedside, in the bathroom, and in my laptop bag. Ha! I'm still tired, but it's nothing like it was at the beginning. I feel great overall and am so happy to be pregnant and having things progress so well!

Food Cravings: Root Beer. How's that for a strange craving? I'm trying to stay away from it, though, because of the sugar content. Still, sometimes I just can't resist.

What I Miss: Nothing right now. I'm honestly just happy with how things are right now.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Feeling the baby move. Also, our anatomy ultrasound on Monday. I hope everything looks great and the baby is growing well. Since we declined any other genetic testing, this will be the first real look at whether there are any indications of Down's or anything like that. I pray everything looks healthy.

Weekly Wisdom: Even if the beginning is tough, hang in there and just stay positive! Better times are coming!

Milestones: Finding out the gender! Baby Boy Bittmann is now officially Andrew George Bittmann :). It's so much fun to be able to start planning the nursery and baby registry. In fact, we already bought our bedding set for Andrew's room.  Exciting!

Emotions: I am overwhelmed with happiness these days. Everything is really finally starting to feel real and I am getting comfortable in the fact that this baby is really going to be our baby boy! I think I was holding back in my excitement at first, but now it's all really happening. Getting so close to halfway now!!

Good things are happening. Monday's ultrasound will be our last official ultrasound as long as everything looks good. It's hard to believe we won't be able to see our little man for the rest of the pregnancy, but at the same time, it will mean he's healthy, which is awesome. Also, we are very close to starting our Hypnobabies birthing class! That starts January 21st, and I absolutely can't wait! Now, I just have to get this novel published first and I can start really working on the nursery and getting the house in order.

It's A....

BOY!!!!!

Definitely crazy excited to share this news with you! I never really pictured myself with a son (always had thought I would have a little girl someday), but the second the u/s tech said boy, I felt so overwhelmed with love and excitement. I announced the gender to my family on Christmas eve and they couldn't be more excited. This will be the first grandson in the family as my sister and brother both have little girls. I didn't do anything too crazy for the gender reveal, but I did decorate plain brown paper bags, then put a little blue surprise inside. Here are a couple of pics.

The little surprise was simple - just tulle circles filled with kisses and tied with a blue ribbon and a tiny little blue pacifier charm. Cheap, but fun! I passed out bags to everyone in my family and had them open them at the same time.

And here are the beautiful pics of our baby boy.

We will have our big anatomy scan on January 9th, so they will be able to tell us without a doubt what the gender is, but the technician at the 3D place was pretty sure it's a boy. Also, I'm sure I've mentioned that my acupuncturist also thought boy since week 11.

We are going to name him ANDREW GEORGE BITTMANN. Such exciting news to be able to share at the holidays. Looking back over 2011, it's hard to believe one year could be full of so much sadness, yet end with so much happiness.

My sincere prayer is for those of you out there who are still struggling with infertility to find your happiness and have your dreams come true in 2012.

14 Weeks and Our 2 Year Anniversary

Today is mine and George's 2nd anniversary!! We had such a happy weekend together, it was amazing. He came home early from work on Friday and surprised me with a beautiful black diamond necklace. Very sweet and very unexpected!! This is going to sound like such cheese, but we spent Friday evening starting a new MMO together - Star Wars, The Old Republic. If you remember our history, George and I met playing Everquest II. We started out internet friends, grouping together in game and hanging out, then it progressed to chatting on ventrilo and then webcam and by phone, and finally, meeting in person. Gaming is an important part of our friendship and we may be nerds, but we have fun together! EQII has kind of been boring lately, so when this new game came out, we decided to give it a try. We are definitely having a lot of fun with it, and it's a great way to spend time together.

Saturday morning we got a couples massage, OMG. It was amazing. George had a deep tissue massage and I had a pregnancy massage. We both left feeling so happy and relaxed. We spent the whole day together, taking a long walk, napping, just hanging out, then went to an early dinner at our favorite Japanese Hibachi Steakhouse. YUM! We ended up sitting at the bar for over an hour afterward (so George could finish his Sake, so sad I couldn't have some!) just talking, which was great. Sunday was more relaxing and walking together, and I love every minute we spend together.

It's such a happy place we're in this year. We're still so very much in love with each other. And now we have a baby on the way!!! I couldn't ask for more in life. Here is a recent picture of us together. I was very newly pregnant here, but had no idea yet. Hehe. How exciting!

And for the most recent pregnancy update!

How Far Along: 14 weeks

My Baby This Week: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Your baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active. (From www.babycenter.com)

Weight Gain: 8 lbs. Ouch! At least 4 lbs of this has to be in my boobs, ha.

Baby Bump: Definitely popping out now! I love to see this little baby bump and am looking forward to watching it grow.

Sleep: Getting better the more I get used to the Snoogle pillow and to sleeping on my side. The massage helped a lot too in working out some of the knots in my shoulder. I think I'm getting over some of the fatigue too and don't need quite as much sleep as I did in the beginning.

Best Moment of The Week: Anniversary dinner, realizing that this will be our last anniversary as a couple. Next year and from here on out, we will be a family of three! So exciting!

Symptoms: Heartburn. Ugh. It sucks!! Tums are my best friend these days. If the old wives tale is true, this baby is going to have some serious hair when he/she comes out! Still a little nausea, but I got a fresh scrip for Zofran and am hoping this will carry me through the last of it. My breasts are still sore, especially the nips. I hope that means my body is working great and is getting ready to produce lots of milk!

Food Cravings: Nothing specific still. After such a great dinner Sat. though, I might start craving Japanese, hehe.

What I Miss: Being able to have a glass or two of Sake at dinner. It's not a big deal, really, but it's weird to think it will be such a long time before I can drink again.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Friday's Gender Ultrasound. OMG, I'm dying to hear the news!!!!

Weekly Wisdom: No matter how bad I feel, I never want to take a single moment of this experience for granted. I'm so blessed to be pregnant.

Emotions: I'm Lady Waterworks these days. Lots of tears, but mostly joyful tears. :)

13 Weeks

Yay! I made it through the most difficult/dangerous part of the pregnancy. I know there are differing opinions on when the second trimester begins (even in my own OB office, one nurse said 12 weeks, but the midwife said 14, lol), but I am going to go ahead and proclaim that I have officially hit the second trimester! I definitely feel a little bit better. The nausea is mostly gone, (yippee!!) except for a few early morning quease sessions. It's so much more manageable, which is awesome.

Also, I am off the progesterone supplements and the metformin. I was incredibly nervous about coming off of these medications at first, but now that it's been about a week, I am feeling better. I am incredibly happy that I bought the Sonoline fetal doppler so that I can hear the baby's heartbeat whenever I want to. It's given me a lot of peace of mind to hear that strong heartbeat. So here's my official 13 week update:

How Far Along: 13 weeks

My Baby This Week:

Weight Gain: 6 lbs. Not bad for the first trimester I guess. It's a little more than I wanted to gain, and now that I'm off the metformin, I'm a little bit nervous that the weight will come on even faster. I am going to have to be a lot more careful about what I'm eating. I also need to make sure to be better about exercise. We've been trying to walk about 2 miles a day, but I keep missing days. (oops!)

Baby Bump: My bump is finally starting to grow! It's still small, but I'm posting two pics - the one I took at 4 weeks just after we found out I was preggers, and the one I just took on Saturday evening. You can start to see the little bit of bump growing! It's very exciting.

Sleep: This is definitely the tough spot for me right now. I bought one of those Snoogle pregnancy pillows, and it seems to be helping some. Still, my body is achy. It's surprising that I'm having body aches this early in my pregnancy. I wasn't expecting that. I've had a hard time sleeping all the way through the night, and when I wake up in the morning, I feel stiff. I normally sleep on my back, so it's tough to make the switch to side sleeping. Hopefully this discomfort won't last the entire rest of the pregnancy.

Best Moment of the Week: Buying my new pregnancy full belly panel jeans. They are so incredibly comfy and they look great on me. Ahhh, what a relief to get out of my regular jeans.

Symptoms: Nausea and fatigue are definitely starting to go away, which is an amazing relief. My worst symptoms right now are the body aches and discomfort when I sleep.Also, my nipples are killing me lately. This may be TMI (ha!) but when I go outside and it's cold, my nipples scream out in pain. It literally feels like they are on fire. Same thing when I am in the shower. My breasts might be a little bigger as well.

Food Cravings: I have been absolutely craving cupcakes lately. Every time I see one, my mouth waters like crazy. Still, I have been a good girl and haven't given in to the temptation. Right now, I'm trying to steer clear of things that are pure sugar. I'm scared of getting GD, so I'm trying to be good!

What I Miss: Being able to get a full night's sleep without waking up or feeling achy.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Our gender ultrasound on the 23rd!!! I can't wait to see if we'll be able to find out if we're having a girl or a boy. I'm so excited!!!

Weekly Wisdom: Pregnancy is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I need to stop being so hard on myself and just keep in mind that my body is going through a lot right now. It's okay if I'm not superwoman.

Milestones: Made it through the first trimester!!!

Emotions: A little out of control. I mean, I cried today at an Onstar commercial on the radio. Seriously.

Slacking!

Oops! I really have been slacking on my posts lately! Time is just slipping away from me these days. I guess that's a good thing, right? I missed my 11 and 12 week updates, but I promise I will do a 13 week update on Monday, along with a new picture. My bump is small but starting to show a little bit, which is exciting. Actually, I'm kind of in that phase where I just look like I've gained a few pounds. I'm really looking forward to looking like I'm really pregnant!

Meanwhile, I'll just do a quick update on what's been happening. I had my first OB/midwife appointment. It wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world - pap smear, they made me go over my sexual assault from 2000 trying to figure out if I sustained any injuries or have lingering depression, and although they said we were getting an ultrasound, we didn't get one (which means my husband took off work for nothing really). It was disappointing, but I am still going to try to have faith that I picked a good practice. We did get to hear the baby's heartbeat on their nicer monitors, though. We are listening to the baby's heartbeat here at home at least every other day with our Sonoline B, and it's just so cool! I can't wait until I finally get to feel the baby moving.

I had acupuncture today. I may have mentioned this before, but my acupuncturist says he is about 80% right on telling the gender of the baby based on my pulse. His guess for me? BOY! He says he is pretty sure about it. That, combined with my husband's dream that we're having a boy, make me feel pretty confident that we are going to have a little boy come June. We are having an early gender determination ultrasound at a local 3D place on December 23rd at noon. We wont' get our gender/anatomy ultrasound with the OB until January, so I thought I would try to find out at the 3D place. It's $75 and there's no guarantee they'll be able to see the baby's gender for sure, but I figure it is worth a shot! We will leave for Georgia to spend time with my family that afternoon, so I am hoping to surprise them with a gender reveal present! I really hope they get a good look!

Hmmm, what else? I've been writing more, but still not as much as I'd like. The morning sickness is definitely getting a lot better, which is awesome. I am still a bit tired, but I think my energy level is getting better overall. My appetite is definitely increasing, lol. And I've already gained 5lbs. Ouch!! Oh well, I just have to try to make healthy choices and not gain too much. I am off of progesterone supplements and Metformin at this point, which is both scary and exciting. Everything is going well so far, which is great. It's really starting to feel real that I'm going to have an actual baby come June!!! It's the most amazing thing in the world, and I can't believe it's really finally happening.

Sorry for the lacking posts, but I have been trying to keep up with reading blogs. Oh, and I got a blog award too, so I will do a post on that soon too!! More soon!

10 week Update - A little late... oops!

Hi everyone! I know I'm late with my 10 week update. And I do keep meaning to blog more frequently. Unfortunately, I'm having one hell of a time with morning sickness and just generally not feeling well - which in turn makes it not so fun to be on the computer or sitting up in general :P. LOL. Yes, I think I'm a wimp when it comes to pregnancy.

Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy. Just tired of feeling like crap all the time. At least I know it's for a good cause, haha. The best cause really. But at this point, I am definitely praying for a second trimester respite.

How Far Along - 10 weeks!!

Picture of Baby - Not exactly a picture this week, but something pretty cool anyway. I bought a fetal doppler and we were able to find the baby's heartbeat!!! We shot a quick video of the very first time we heard the baby's heartbeat. The video is awful because I had to use a free converter that put all these words on the screen, but it's really the audio that counts, so I'm going to post it here.

I am trying not to use the doppler all the time, but it's definitely tempting. The heartbeat is such a beautiful sound!!!

My Baby This Week -

Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.

He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.

Weight Gain - 4 lbs total now. My waist is definitely starting to get bigger! And yes, my boobs are much bigger too!

Sleep - I think my sleep is getting better in general. Less of the super vivid dreams, though I did have another nightmare about my ex husband last night. WTF is that all about? I would rather not be thinking of him at all, but somehow my psyche is bringing him into my nightmares. No bueno.

Best Moment of the Week - Definitely hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time.

Symptoms - The nausea never lets up. Actually, I did have a couple of good days here and there, but nothing great. And I only have 2 of the original 20 zofran left and I am saving them for Thanksgiving, just in case. That's the worst of the worst as far as symptoms.

Food Cravings - I have definitely had a craving for cupcakes this past week. Strange, huh? I even have dreams about them, LOL. But I haven't given into temptation yet. I know my body doesn't need that extra sugar!

What I Miss - Feeling good.

What I'm Looking Forward To - A more energetic, less nauseated second trimester. Please?

Milestones - Hearing the baby's heartbeat, for sure!

Emotions - I am always grateful and extremely happy to be pregnant. However, this past week, the constancy of the nausea is really bringing me down. It just feels so relentless. I've never felt this bad for so long in my life, and it's turning out to be a lot harder than I thought it would be. Inevitably, this has an effect on my mood and my general emotional self. Hoping to just push through it. I remind myself daily of how blessed I am and that my body is doing some seriously hard work right now growing our little miracle.

An Active Baby (9 week Update)

I can't believe how fast time is moving. I am being bad about keeping up with the updates, which I swore I wouldn't do once I got pregnant, but oh well, I'm doing the best I can right now and hope to update more often as time goes by! We had our second ultrasound scheduled for this afternoon, which is why I am posting late, and it was AMAZING! The baby has grown so much in just two weeks. It actually looks like a baby now! (see pictures below). And what was even cooler is that he/she was moving around the entire time. It was the neatest thing to see the little arms and legs moving all around. Even the doctor was laughing and saying it was one of the most active babies he's seen. Maybe we have a future gymnast on our hands, hehe. I am so in love with this baby already.

Oh and guess what?? Today, the fertility clinic doctor officially released me as a patient!!! Yes, that's right friends, I am actually going to be a "normal" pregnant woman from here on out. I can't wait to make my first appointment! Tomorrow, I go to a meet and greet with the midwives of the practice I intend to use. I really hope I get a good vibe from them and feel super comfy. This is a sister practice of the fertility clinic and is in the same building, just one floor up. The other great thing is that my fertility doctor is also the on-call OB for them once a week, so he feels completely comfortable with the practice and has had nothing but good things to say - and if needed, it's possible he would be there to see us through an emergency situation. Hopefully, though, we won't need an OB and will happily deliver naturally with a midwife, but that is a post for a different day. Now for the weekly update!

How Far Along - 9 weeks


Pictures of baby (my favorite part) -

 

(you can see how much the baby moved already just from one pic to the next!)

My Baby This Week - Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. Now that your baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain. (from www.babycenter.com)

Weight Gain - 3 lbs at this point. I'm definitely feeling like my belly is pooching out a bit more. I don't have a good picture to upload this week, but maybe next week! I think I'm definitely starting to show already, though, and man, my clothes don't fit! I'm living in yoga pants, haha.

Sleep - Non-stop dreams. And not all of them are pleasant, unfortunately. Ugh. I don't ever feel like I'm getting a full night's sleep, but I know it's all part of the deal of being pregnant. I'm hoping the dreams begin to subside at least a little bit once I move into the second trimester.

Best Moment of the Week - Today's ultrasound for sure! I'm still smiling ear-to-ear hours later. I had read in one of my books that "you may be able to see your baby move on an ultrasound" and thought, wow, that would be cool. But nothing compared to actually seeing those little tiny arms and legs moving around. Best moment of the week? Heck, one of the best of my life!

Symptoms - I would say my symptoms are starting to fade a little bit. My breasts are barely sore at all anymore and I'm happy to say that I have had several days without any nausea. I was concerned about why the symptoms were fading, but after seeing our very active baby, I know everything is okay so there's no reason to worry! I still have some nausea days, like today, but it's good to know I'm having some good days too.

Food Cravings - I don't know if it's a craving exactly, but I've found that tart apples like Granny Smith or Golden Delicious are really good for curbing my nausea, so I've been eating a lot of organic apples lately! Yum!

What I Miss - Restful sleep.

What I'm Looking Forward To - Moving on to a regular midwife/OB practice and getting to ask all the questions. Also, I'm dying to know if we're having a boy or a girl!!

Weekly Wisdom - Staying positive is one of the most important tools a woman can have during early pregnancy. When I work on keeping my outlook and attitude positive, I feel better overall, have less stress, and am happier. If something were to go wrong, I'd rather deal with it at the time than spend all my days worried. Sometimes this is easier said than done, but something I try to remind myself of constantly.

Milestones - Graduating from the fertility clinic! Yay!!

Emotions - So happy my cheeks hurt from smiling!!

Fading Symptoms?

Tomorrow I will be 9 weeks pregnant already! Time is starting to fly by for sure! For the past few weeks, I've been struggling with some major nausea and fatigue, but today, I actually woke up feeling pretty normal.

*Begin obsessive behavior*

It's so crazy. I've been going crazy with these symptoms, hating the nausea and just begging to feel better. Then when I wake up feeling better, I start to obsess and worry that something has gone wrong. /sigh. My boobs have been crazy sore for weeks, but suddenly the past few days, I don't notice them as much. They are definitely not as sore as they have been, but if I push on them or hug myself tight, I can still feel a little tenderness.

Am I insane for analyzing my symptoms? I figured most people usually start to see their symptoms fade after the first trimester, but I'm still weeks away from the second trimester. Is it normal for some women to start to see their worst symptoms fade already at 9 weeks pregnant?

Of course, I realize that I could just be having a rare good day, lol. It's totally possible that I will wake up tomorrow feeling like poop all over again. I guess I should take this as a present and just enjoy feeling great for a while. I will feel incredibly lucky and blessed if my symptoms are fading but the baby is totally healthy. Win-win.

Monday we will get to see the sweet Baby Bittmann again on an ultrasound. Our appointment is at 3:30 in the afternoon, and I absolutely can't wait. Hopefully the fading symptoms don't mean anything is wrong! I'm going to just stay positive and pray that all is well. In the meantime, if any of you starting feeling some fading symptoms around 9 weeks or so, let me know so I can stop obsessing so much!

Overwhelmed

It's so easy to feel overwhelmed at this stage! I'm looking toward the next seven or so months and realizing that there is so much that needs to get done. I have found myself just standing there in the doorway to the future nursery, staring at the mess that needs to be tamed into a real baby's room. For years, that room has been my catch-all room. It's my closet (because the one in the master bedroom is super tiny), my crafting/sewing room, a storage room, you name it. I've actually already cleaned a lot of it out, but there's still just so much stuff. To be honest, I have no idea where most of it is going to go.

I have donated a bunch of my crafting supplies to a local school in need. I let some friends come and look through a lot of the stuff that was left, which got rid of some more of it. Then, I actually donated about 3 trashbags full of clothes to the local mission. And that's really just the beginning of it all.

I know I need to just take it one step at a time. I wish the nursery was the only thing that needed work around here. It seems like there's something to do in every single room. Not to mention the fact that we really need new carpet throughout the entire house. I want to do everything I can to make this house perfect for the baby. And the ironic thing is that a tiny baby will have no idea if the house is a mess or not, lol. It's just something I want for the baby to have. Maybe that's insane.

My big hope is that once the first trimester is over, I will get some of my energy back and can finally start to tackle some of these big jobs I have on my list. When I'm feeling tired and nauseated, the last thing I wanted to do is clean the house or work on organizing. Honestly, I'm ashamed to admit that all I really feel like doing these days is sitting in front of the TV and vegging out. Is that terrible? It's almost like a weird melancholy that comes over me. It's almost a restlessness. There's so much I want to do, but I feel helpless to do any of it. It's definitely a strange feeling, and I really hope it passes soon.

On a totally happy note, though, I am actually almost 8 1/2 weeks already! Time is definitely moving right along. Next Monday, I have my second ultrasound. I really hope we get to hear the heartbeat this time! I am also really hoping that the fertility clinic graduates me to a regular OB practice after this appointment. I'm still not completely sure which practice I'm going to go with, but I'm ready to get settled with my doctor and midwives and move into a 'normal' pregnancy. Exciting!!

8 weeks! Man, time flies!

I can't believe it's already been more than a week since my last post. I don't know where the time has gone. I think once I got to see our baby's heartbeat and some of that worry melted away, time just started slipping by. I promise to be better at updating!

How Far Along - 8 Weeks!!

My Baby This Week - New this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it. (From www.babycenter.com)

Weight Gain - 3 lbs. Ouch! I can't believe I'm already gaining weight. I'm eating way too much to try to keep the nausea at bay.

Sleep - Dreams are the story of my life. Well, that and getting up to pee. My sleep is riddled with crazy vivid dreams, then I wake up, have to get up to pee, then I go back to sleep and start dreaming all over again. It's wild! I never wake up feeling like I got a really good night's sleep.

Best Moment Of The Week - Buying my first maternity clothes! I guess this could also be labeled as the most depressing moment of the week, haha, but I'm trying to look at it in a positive light. Yes, I'm only 8 weeks along, but my normal jeans feel so tight on my belly. I bought a few bella bands, but then I feel like my pants are falling down all day. So I went to Old Navy and bought some new maternity leggings (super comfy and cheap) and a pair of their maternity jeans. The low rise ones, because I figured the full panel belly would be too big for me right now. It was actually fun to be looking through the maternity clothes. I've been waiting for this for a long time! Besides, I figure I'd rather be comfortable than worry about whether or not it's too early for maternity.

Movement - From what I've read, the baby is probably moving around quite a bit in there, but I still can't feel it yet. Can't wait until I do, but I know that's still a while yet!

Symptoms - My breasts are decidedly bigger, but they are hurting less than they were in the beginning. I am still fighting against constant fatigue and awful nausea, but the zofran helps. They only gave me 20 pills in my prescription, so I've only been taking them when I absolutely know I'm going to throw up, lol.

Food Cravings - I'm still in a phase where nothing really sounds good to me most of the time. I used to love doughnuts and sweets, but right now, the thought of eating some cake or a doughnut or something turns my stomach. Guess that's a blessing, really, considering I've already started gaining weight. Man, if I was craving sweets, I'd be in serious trouble!

What I Miss - Being able to sleep all the way through the night without getting up.

What I'm Looking Forward To - Getting to see the baby again on an ultrasound next week. Hope we get to hear the heartbeat this time!

Emotions - Feeling so happy and so incredibly grateful. I have a peace now about this baby, feeling that it was just meant to be and everything is going to be okay.

Seven Weeks (and a heartbeat!!)

Hi everyone! This is going to be a big update because we got big news this weekend! The story starts out scary, just like a Halloween tale should. Friday afternoon around 5, I got up from my desk to use the bathroom and when I wiped, there was lots of red blood. My heart nearly stopped and I immediately felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I'm sorry if this is too graphic, but when I wiped again, there were several dark red blood clots. I was terrified. I have read many stories of that being the start of a miscarriage, and I just prayed and prayed nothing was wrong with the baby.

I called my nurse right away, but since it was after 5, I got the answering service and had to wait for them to call back. Because I said I was pregnant, the service gave my call to the OBGYN instead of the fertility clinic, so I had to explain myself again and wait for the fertility clinic nurse to call. It was torture. My husband lay there in bed with me as I cried and tried to get myself together. Finally, my favorite nurse called around 6:15 and said she wanted me to come in for an ultrasound on Saturday morning. She told me to take it easy and just stay on bedrest and that if the bleeding got worse to head to the ER. I dread going to the ER to wait, so I was determined to wait it out.

I barely slept at all on Friday night. George and I got up on Saturday morning and went straight to the clinic. They did bloodwork and then finally, after more than an hour in the waiting room, we were called in to the ultrasound room. When the doctor walked in, I felt so incredibly vulnerable. Naked, of course, from the waist down and just knowing that the next few minutes would either be full of great joy or great sadness. I held my breath as he inserted the ultrasound wand and George clutched my hand tight. "Everything looks good." When the words came out of the doctor's mouth, I began to cry tears of joy.

He turned the screen toward us and let us see our little baby for the first time. It just looked like a strange blob on the screen, but it was beautiful!! I asked if he could see a heartbeat and he said yes, then pointed out a fluttering little pulse on the screen. Wow!!! What an awesome sight! I totally fell in love in that moment and was so grateful that everything was okay. We got a cute little printout of our little Baby Bittmann and I couldn't be more excited! Now, we're scheduled for a second ultrasound for 9 weeks (November 14th). The doctor said the bleeding was just my body's way of saying I need to take it easy. He said he didn't see any reason for us to worry, which was very sweet news.

So, after that LONG update, here's my weekly update:

How Far Along: 7 weeks

Picture of Baby:

My Baby This Week: The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry. (Taken from BabyCenter)


 Weight Gain: Ugh. Another pound added on this week. I guess I am eating too much and not getting enough exercise, but I don't want to overdo it now especially that the doctor said to take it easy. I guess I'm just going to have to let the weight gain not bother me for now! Total gain is now 2 pounds.

Baby Bump: You can actually see the beginning of a baby bump! It's definitely not enough to look noticeably pregnant yet, but it's enough for me to see. I can't wait for my tummy to pop out a little more and for people to actually recognize me as being pregnant.

And yes, I know. I really need to find a cuter place to take my bump pictures, lol. Please ignore the mess on the window seat!

Sleep: Still not sleeping very well. I tried Unisom a couple of nights and slept so great, but after the bleeding, I'm scared to take or do anything. I'm sure the unisom had nothing to do with it, but why take any risks at this point? I'm trying to take several naps during the day to make up for the poor sleep at night.

Best Moment of the Week: By far seeing the heartbeat on the screen!!!

Symptoms: Same as last week. Achy, nauseated, sore breasts, peeing a lot, etc. Eating has been weird this week. It's like I'm hungry all the time, but when I eat I can never really feel satisfied. Nothing sounds good to me, not even pizza, which is saying something! I know I need to eat for the baby's health, but it's almost tedious to eat these days because I never feel good.

Food Cravings: I guess what's weirder than any cravings is the fact that the food I normally crave (ie. Pizza) is not as appetizing to me. Literally nothing sounds good. Ever. I wish I would suddenly start craving some super healthy nutritious foods like carrots and grilled chicken. :)

What I Miss: Feeling not sick.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Getting my energy back. I've heard the second trimester can be really enjoyable once the general sick feelings go away, and at this point, I'm really looking forward to that!

Weekly Wisdom: Always have faith that things are going to work out exactly the way they are supposed to. I spend too much of my life worrying over things that are out of my control.

Milestones: First ultrasound!! Seeing the baby's heartbeat and knowing we are that much closer to being out of the danger zone.

Emotions: I've been all over the place this week. Tonight, I actually cried during Practical Magic. That's really not a sad movie, but it touched me and I sobbed. What can I say? I'm a huge pile of hormones right now!

Motivation

All along, I knew October was going to be a slow production month. After all, I'd planned on this being my IVF month. I thought I would be feeling ill and bloated and scared and nervous and completely not creative. Well, the truth is that even though I'm pregnant, I'm still feeling ill and bloated and scared and nervous, lol. For some reason, when I found out I was expecting, I thought I would suddenly have all this renewed energy and be able to be creative and work hard. Boy was I wrong!

I always imagined that after such a long struggle to get pregnant, once the news finally came in, I would be so happy that none of the morning sickness or fatigue would phase me. Haha. I guess reality is often very different from what we think it's going to be. I never expected how much this constant tiredness or unyielding nausea would knock me on my ass. Yet here I am, struggling.

Don't get me wrong! I'm enormously happy, and that alone gives me energy. However, these days I'm spending my energy in a not-so-productive way. I know that what I need to be doing right now is working hard. This is one of the drawbacks of working for yourself, lol. I have complete control over how I spend my day. No one is making me work any certain hours. No one is expecting me to turn in any work. It's all up to me. And when I'm not feeling extremely well, it's hard to work up the motivation to work on a new novel.

Of course, no new novels means no new money, haha. And right now, there's so many things I want to buy! There's all the baby stuff, nursery decor, clothes, etc. Then there's new carpet for the house, which I desperately want. And even though it's nowhere near a necessity, I would love to have a new car. Something with more room. I know money isn't the most important thing in life, but it would definitely mean less stress when the baby arrives.

I happen to be in the lucky position that I can make extra money by writing more books. So why can't I write? AHHHH. Trust me, I'm trying. Unfortunately, my focus has gone all wonky. When I have time and energy, I always end up browsing baby or maternity shopping sites, reading about labor and delivery or breastfeeding, looking at different nursery options, etc. I know all that stuff is normal and that it's okay to be daydreaming and browsing these sites. However, it doesn't need to be happening at the sacrifice of my writing and career.

So how do I get back into it? How do I find my motivation again for writing when all I can think about is babies?! Hehe. Does anyone have any tips or suggestions? Or is it just a matter of time? I keep wondering if I'm just slightly paralyzed mentally until I pass this milestone of the first ultrasound. Once I see that heartbeat and know that everything is okay, will it unlock a door inside that allows me to go back to my regular life, in a way? Is any of this making sense? LOL. Mostly, I'm just rambling and thinking through this, I guess. :P. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a more productive day.

Six Weeks!!

It's still too early for much news, but I thought it would be fun to start my weekly pregnancy updates! I am going to take my cues from The Johnson Journey blog and follow a similar format as hers. Technically, I hit my new week on Saturdays, but as I am unlikely to keep up with my blog on the weekend, I'll just try to keep my weekly updates to my Monday post. So, without further ado, here goes:

How Far Along - 6 weeks.

Picture of Baby - So excited to get this, but nothing yet. I have my first u/s next Wednesday, so I'll update as soon as we have our first picture of our little one.

My Baby This Week - This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil. (Taken from BabyCenter)

Weight Gain - I have already gained a pound. I know you're not supposed to gain during your first trimester, but I think it's mostly water weight. At least that's what I'm telling myself, haha.

Baby Bump - It's not the most exciting picture of all time, but this is my pre-baby-bump picture! Please ignore the  somewhat dirty mirror and the spots on the wall where my towel rack fell, LOL. /sigh. I need to find a cuter place in my house to take my weekly pics. :P

Not much bump to report yet. Honestly, though, at this point, I feel like some days I have extra tummy and then some days I sort of deflate back to normal. Is it crazy that I'm actually anxious to start having a bump? I can't wait!!

Sleep - Ugh. I'm not getting nearly enough. I'm having the craziest, most vivid dreams! Weirdly enough, most of my dreams are about me being pregnant in High School, LOL. I have no idea why I would be dreaming about that, but last night I dreamed I was in class and thinking about how tough it would be when I started showing and everyone found out I was pregnant. How weird is that? I mean, I'm 34 for goodness sake. This surely isn't a fear of mine :P.

Other than the dreams, I also have to get up a few times in the night to go to the bathroom. I'm also tossing and turning a lot. Hopefully the sleep problems won't continue throughout the entire pregnancy. For now, I'm taking lots of mini-naps to make up for lack of sleep at night.

Best Moment of the Week - George high-fiving my baby bump. OMG, that was the cutest thing ever.

Symptoms - Nausea, nausea, nausea. It's pretty much nonstop 24/7. Sometimes eating a good high-protein meal can keep the ickiness at bay for a couple of hours, but nothing else seems to work. I've tried Sea Bands, Gingerale, Ginger tea, Ginger gum, Preggie Pops, everything I can think of. Nothing helps for too long, but I'm hanging in there. At least I haven't been throwing up! Just nauseated all the time. It definitely makes working a lot harder. I simply can't focus. Still, the nausea makes me happy in a weird way, because it gives me a good feeling that the baby is healthy and growing in there! Other symptoms so far are sore breasts, vivid dreams, and having to pee a lot :P. I'm also thirsty all the time.

Food Cravings - It's not exactly a craving per se. BUT, never in my entire life have I been a hamburger eater. I pretty much hate them. But in my quest for more protein to try to help with the nausea, I got two cheeseburgers at McDonald's the other day. I know, I know, I should really be eating a lot healthier than McDonald's fast food right now, but I'm telling the truth when I say that I felt better after those two cheeseburgers than I have the rest of the entire week. I had about 3 gloriously nausea-free hours afterward.

What I Miss - Nothing except not feeling nauseated all the time, hehe.

What I'm Looking Forward To - My first ultrasound next week. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time!! I can't wait to hear that little heartbeat!!!!

Weekly Wisdom - Patience is a virtue, lol. I always thought the 2ww was torture, but now I know that the waiting is just as hard after you get a BFP.

Milestones - Morning Sickness, haha. Not the most glamorous milestone, but still, it's like a badge of honor, right?

Emotions - Definitely on a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm extremely happy to be pregnant, but also terrified of something going wrong at the ultrasound. I also cry at the drop of hat, hehe. All part of the package I suppose!

Shopping and Waiting

It's possible I am a slight shopaholic. I love to shop for new clothes, decorations for the house, books, anything. Needless to say, I'm so ready to start shopping for baby!! I can't tell you how many hours I've already spent browsing amazon and babies r us and pottery barn kids, haha. Still, it's just simply to early to start a registry or go out and buy anything substantial.

I'm optimistically hopeful that we'll see a strong heartbeat at the ultrasound in two weeks. I'm definitely looking forward to knowing for sure that everything is alright and our baby is growing strong and healthy inside. Tomorrow, I'll be six weeks pregnant so the little heart should definitely be beating already!

I spend a lot of time daydreaming. Is it a boy or a girl? What will it be like to have a sweet little baby in my arms? Will he/she look like me or like George? How should I decorate the nursery? Should we buy a bigger car? It's fun to day dream, and it leads to much happier thoughts than when I start to worry about whether everything is okay or not.

Yesterday, I went in to Toys R Us to get a gift card for a friend's little boy and literally spent an hour browsing on the Babies R Us side of the store. They have so many pretty cribs and cute bedding. I stared at all the little blankets and pacifiers. I even smiled at the bottles, lol. I was like a kid in a candy store. I can't wait to start buying all those things and getting the house ready for a little one.

I think once the ultrasound is here and we see a heartbeat, I will feel a little more comfortable starting to pick things out. Please, oh please let everything be okay in there! I've definitely got the symptoms to prove it, ha! Nausea 24/7, ick. But I'll gladly take it if it's just part of growing a healthy baby. Just 12 more days until we get to see our little bean. I can't wait!

Questioning

Lately, I have been feeling so incredibly grateful. It is truly a miracle that I am pregnant right now without having to go through our planned IVF cycle. It's honestly been hard to wrap my mind around this whole thing. I spent months preparing for IVF, reading every book and website I could get my hands on, asking a million questions, and doing my best to mentally become prepared for the rollercoaster of daily shots and everything that goes along with it. But then, to find out two days before shots were to begin that I am pregnant? It was like having my entire world flipped upside down, but in the most beautiful way imaginable.

In some ways, however, it's difficult to really believe this is real. I am so scared to really settle into it, you know? It was given to me at a time when I least expected it, and I guess there's a part of me that is scared that it can be taken away just as quickly.

I'm not saying that I'm not grateful or extremely happy. I am!! Believe me!! It's just still seeming so very surreal, you know? And I also have been questioning why something like this happens? Why would I get pregnant right before IVF when so many other women struggle through several rounds with nothing but heartache? Why can't every woman who wants to get pregnant get pregnant? It just doesn't seem fair and the whole process of TTC is such a whirlwind.

Of course, some of my friends actually said to me, "See? All you needed to do was relax and now you're pregnant! You probably just knew IVF was coming up and were relaxed knowing everything was going to be okay." Ha! I just smiled and nodded, but honestly? Anyone who has read my blog or knows what I've been going through over the past couple of months knows that I was anything but relaxed. I don't feel that it had anything to do with how relaxed I was or any of that. I think it had more to do with the fact that this was just my journey. I am exactly where I am supposed to be and everything has fallen into place. I have no idea why, but I do know that I am extremely blessed.

Still, I sometimes read through the blogs of friends who are still going through their IVF journey and I almost feel guilty. I know that sounds crazy, in some ways. But it's just me being honest. I feel guilty when I read about someone else's heartaches. Why? I ask this question all the time. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? What can I do to make sure I don't lose it? I know these are all questions that have no answers, but it doesn't keep my brain from spinning.

My prayer that goes up right now is for all women who want to be pregnant and want to be mothers will be blessed with a healthy pregnancy. Sooner rather than later.

First Ultrasound Decision

Thank you so much to everyone who weighed in about my question on when to schedule my first ultrasound. It means so much to me to hear everyone's side and be able to make a good decision. Sorry I haven't updated much lately. I've been trying to get back in the habit of writing again. I had originally planned for this month to be all about relaxing and staying low-stress and dealing with the IVF process in the best way I could without adding pressure as far as my career goes. With the amazing news of getting pregnant, I have also realized just how much needs to get done before baby. Most of which takes money. Which brings me back to my writing, haha.

But I do want to keep up with my blog, so here I am, and I'll be better about not skipping days this week. Plus, I wanted to give an update on my decision since so many people were awesome enough to leave suggestions and advice about the ultrasound.

At first, I called and scheduled it for October 26th. I would be 6w4d pregnant at that point. However, after reading your comments and agreeing that it would probably drive me even more crazy to go in and NOT have a definitive answer about the baby's heartbeat, I decided to call and have the u/s pushed back one week. Now, I'll be going in November 2nd, which is 7w4d into my pregnancy. I feel like it's a perfect compromise. Only a few days away from the 8 week mark that my doctor suggested, but still late enough that we should definitely be able to see a heartbeat and know that everything is okay.

This puts me 2 weeks and 2 days away from the ultrasound!! So it's back to another 2 week wait for me, hehe. In the meantime, I am trying to stay positive and know that everything is okay in there. Everything is unfolding exactly the way it's supposed to, for better or worse. And I am going to trust that journey.

Bathroom Organization Project

Now that I am expecting, I am starting to look around the house and realize how much needs to get done! I would love to say that I am one of these future mommies who keeps an immaculate 3000 square foot house with lots of storage and great organization and decoration. Unfortunately, we live in a townhouse that is only 1500 square feet and needs some serious work. Plus, dare I say it? I suck at housekeeping. I forget to dust. I don't vacuum nearly as often as I should. Closets start out somewhat organized or spare and then as I buy more and more things, they become disgustingly cluttered and disorganized. It's embarrassing, really. It's also not the kind of thing a woman is supposed to admit, but I have to be honest about where I am to understand where I want to go.

Trust me when I say I've been working on making a lot of improvements to myself in the past several years. Weight loss. Eating right. Exercise. A new career. Getting rid of negative self-talk. Fixing up the house has sort of taken a back seat. Also, we'd been living on my husband's income for several years so there hasn't been a ton of money to put into things like new carpet or fresh paint or storage systems. But now that there's a baby coming, I know we've got to start getting things organized around here. Thank goodness, I have a good career of my own now, but we'll still be on a budget for a while.

First and foremost, we're going to need the space! And better organization and cleanliness means more space all over the house. I decided there's no better time to start than the present. My first project? My bathroom. We have two bathrooms in our house, one in the master bedroom and one in the hallway that has general access. Since we had two, George took the master bathroom (that only has a shower) and I took the hall bath with the tub. Now, looks like I'll be sharing the hall bath with a baby and a someday, a toddler!

Okay, I'm going to share some pictures of my closet and under the sink. It's totally embarrassing because it's just so incredibly messy (easy to just close the door and forget the mess, lol), so please don't judge me! It's awful, I know! Thankfully, I have before and after pictures, and the after is so much better.

Bathroom closet before:

 

And after:

 I got rid of one huge bag of trash. Mostly, it was full of old hair products and lotions that I haven't used in months. I lined the shelves with removable decorative shelf paper. I re-purposed some CD bins I had in my office that weren't being used anymore and the only items I bought were the stackable sets of white bins at the bottom of the closet. Being on a budget, I was happy to find them in sets of 3 for less than $5 a set at Walmart. Each bin has a theme. Cleaning supplies. Bandages. Extra cotton balls. etc. Hopefully now that everything has its own place, it will be easier to keep clean.

Here is the before and after of the space under my sink. Terrible, I know! I've gotten in the habit of just throwing stuff down there. Yuck!

 

But look at it now!

 

I put lined the bottom and the back with the decorative shelf paper. All of my curling brushes and curling irons and straightening iron are all stored in the larger pink container. The white baskets in the center are for my makeup (which is usually strewn all over the counter). I put the makeup I only rarely use but wanted to keep in the bottom bin, and the one on top is full of the makeup and the brushes I use everyday. The basket on the right side is full of odds and ends.  Oh, and by the way, I threw out another large bag of trash from all the shampoos and such under the counter and old makeup I never used anymore. Ouch! It's awful to think about all the things I had just in this one room that I didn't use or need.

And I didn't just work on the closets and sink. I also put up a fresh new shower curtain and liner, new bathmats and cleaned the top of the sink and toilet. I don't like the color of the bathmats, though, so I want to exchange them before I take an overall picture of the bathroom.  

Honestly, I had really been hoping we could afford to buy a brand new house before a baby came, but it just isn't in the cards for us. The townhouse we live in now is one George bought a few years before we met. Since I didn't have any choice in picking it out, I'm not terribly attached to it. Okay, in some ways, I hate it, lol. But it's our home and I want to make it the nicest possible place it can be for our sweet new baby next June. There's a lot of work to do, but I'm going to do my best to take it one small project at a time. However, I have a feeling nine months is not really as long as it sounds!