My New Blog!

Yippee! I talked about this in my post yesterday, but today I finally have my design finished and my first post up. I definitely plan to still follow all of you and keep commenting on your blogs. I hope that you will follow me to the new blog. It looks lonely over there with no friends yet, haha. From now on, I probably won't be posting here anymore, as all of my pregnancy posts and family news will go to the new site. I would love to keep up with both blogs, but let's be honest, lol. I can barely keep up with all my blogs (professional and personal) as it is. :P

So, here is my new blog. The Bittmann Family. Stop by and say hello, and I hope to keep updates coming much more frequently over there. Thanks everyone!!

Hard to Keep Up!

Happy Valentine's Day! George and I aren't planning anything fancy - just a movie (no dinner plans because the GD makes things more difficult, blah). But it should still be a fun evening together! Hope you all have something fun planned too.

I also wanted to apologize for not updating very often lately. Keeping up with the blog has been increasingly difficult. The reason behind it is two-fold really.

1) My brain is all over the place! I'm working on another book and am determined to have it out before baby Andrew gets here. It's important to me to be able to take a few months off after he's born, which means the book needs to be D.O.N.E. Plus, then there's a first baby shower coming up, the registry had to be completed, the baby's room needs to be cleaned out and get painted and there's just so much to do.

2) The second reason is because I feel like this blog was more for me to talk through the pain of infertility. I needed this as a place to spill my heart and deal with those pains and frustrations. I know most of the friends I've made through this blog are at different parts of their journeys - some are pregnant and some are still struggling. It's sometimes hard to gush about how happy I am when I know there are others still waiting for that good news. I know how difficult it was for me to read posts like that from other women when I was still not pregnant. Even though I was happy for them, there was still that feeling of why not me? When will it be my turn? For that, I feel like I need to hold myself back from really talking openly about my pregnancy.

So, I've decided to create a new blog! I had Faith design a new blog for me (which I LOVE, she's so awesome!). I haven't yet made any posts, but I will be linking it here as soon as I get it all set up and ready to go. I hope that those of you interested in following my pregnancy will follow me over there.

I certainly don't want or intend to abandon my friends I've made through this blog, so I will definitely still be following all of your posts and cheering you on through whatever your journey is right now. I just feel that a new blog is the right solution for me. One I can share with my friends and family openly (this blog was a little too painful at one time to share with everyone in my life), and one where I can talk openly about my pregnancy and share pictures of the baby once he comes without feeling guilt.

I hope this isn't coming off wrong. I just want to make sure I'm being sensitive to everyone, you know? You've all become very important to me. I hope that many of you will follow me over to the new blog. I promise I will post a link as soon as it's up and running!!

Gestational Diabetes

I found out yesterday that I have Gestational Diabetes. This news has hit me quite hard, even though in a way, I was expecting it. I have PCOS, but along with that, I am also insulin resistant. My blood sugars have never been so crazy out of control that anyone diagnosed me with diabetes, but it was definitely something I was concerned about. When I first went to my OB/Midwife appointment back in November, I mentioned this concern and worry, especially when they told me that I would come off Metformin at 12 weeks. The midwife basically argued with me for over 10 minutes about the issue, claiming that I couldn't be insulin resistant without being diabetic and that PCOS had nothing to do with insulin resistance. I seriously wanted to choke her. I told her that I had a pre-existing condition and told her exactly where to find my labwork that showed I did have some issues with insulin.

At my second appointment, the midwife (a new one this time b/c the practice rotates several) acted as if she'd never heard this news. She didn't understand why I wanted an early glucose test. She just stared at me with a blank face and said they do the GD test at 25 weeks and there was no need to do it early. I insisted, expressing again that I was concerned about it. Finally, I was scheduled for a test at around 19 weeks (last Thursday). They just called me back yesterday at almost 5 in the afternoon to tell me that not only were my levels high, they were so incredibly high I won't even have to do a 3 hour glucose test. She used the words "Dangerously high", which of course freaked me out. Anything over 140 is bad, right? My level was 232. She then said that I would be sent to see a specialist at Duke, but when I asked when the appointment would be, she just said, "Well, if they don't call you within the next week or two, give us a call back." WHAT?? A week or two? You can't say my levels are dangerously high and then tell me it might be two weeks before anyone bothers to explain to me how to deal with these levels or begins to monitor me. I was both devastated and angry.

I went in this morning and demanded to talk to someone in patient services. I explained the problems I've had so far with the practice and that I haven't felt like I was taken seriously with my concerns. The woman agreed that some mistakes were made. For example, there was not a single note in my file about me having previous insulin resistance. She said I should have been treated from the very beginning as a diabetic patient rather than just let this go untreated. I'm so upset. I don't know whether to stay at this practice or try to find a new doctor. She said she would mark my file as MD only from now on so that I won't have to go in and see the midwives. There are 2 OB's at this practice. Ironically, I chose this practice specifically because of the fact that they have midwives. I felt I would get a better level of care and personal attention, but that hasn't been the case at all. I've been rushed through every appointment and had to argue my way through both this insulin issue as well as details of my due date, ultrasounds, etc. But I also know that switching practices mid-way through my pregnancy could be a real ordeal. Will insurance cover everything? How do I know another practice will be better? How do I find a better practice? I have no idea what I should do, to be honest.

This news of GD comes with a whole new set of fears. Will I have to be induced now? Will I need insulin shots? Is my baby going to suffer because of this? Will he be healthy? Will he be too big for me to have a natural birth? Is he growing okay in there? It's such a scary thing. I know there are plenty of women who have gestational diabetes and who go on to have perfectly healthy babies, so right now I am trying to concentrate on the positive, but it's so much easier said than done. I am going to have to be super diligent about eating well and eating low carb, high protein for the next 20 weeks. I also need to get more exercise in and make sure it's every single day. I hate that my gym closed, because that would have been an ideal place to go walk on the treadmill every day even when it's cold outside or raining. I just want everything to be okay.

Sorry this post has been kind of a rant out of nowhere, but it's been a tough day for me, and I'm so scared. I hope my baby is okay.

16 / 17 Week Update

Wow, I've been slacking on my posts!! Since I am finally feeling a lot better these days (yay for no morning sickness!!!!), I have been working about 10 hours a day on my novel. I am working my butt off to get it published by January 20th, so it's been a whirlwind of a past couple of weeks with both work and the holidays and such. But I needed a break from the novel, so I wanted to give a brief update on what's been going on with the pregnancy.

How Far Along: 17 weeks tomorrow

Picture of Baby:













My Baby This Week: Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop. (From www.babycenter.com)

Weight Gain: 7.5 pounds. Not bad! I am trying to keep it below 25 pounds for the entire pregnancy, so I feel like I'm actually pretty much on track.

Baby Bump:

Sleep: I love my snoogle pillow!! It gives me great support and it's helping me be able to sleep on my side. Overall, I think I'm sleeping much better. I crave naps all the time, but I find that when I do nap, I usually feel groggy and have a headache afterward, so I've been trying to avoid them. Basically, that means a lot of tired days, but I'd rather be tired than feeling sick.

Best Moment of the Week: Technically, this didn't happen this week, but my best moment since my last update was telling my family that we are having a baby boy! Everyone was so excited and surprised (since it's all been girls so far in our family). It was a fun moment that left a perma-smile on my face.

Movement: I want to be feeling this baby move! I still haven't felt any flutters yet, though. On Sunday night, I felt something strange, but it was there and gone so fast, I can't be sure it was the baby. Nothing more since then. At the gender u/s she said I had an anterior placenta and it might be a while before I can feel the baby since he's kicking the placenta instead of me most of the time. Boo!! I know it's coming though and I absolutely can't wait!

Symptoms: Heartburn!! I actually bought little plastic containers and filled them with tums so I can put one in each of my purses, by my bedside, in the bathroom, and in my laptop bag. Ha! I'm still tired, but it's nothing like it was at the beginning. I feel great overall and am so happy to be pregnant and having things progress so well!

Food Cravings: Root Beer. How's that for a strange craving? I'm trying to stay away from it, though, because of the sugar content. Still, sometimes I just can't resist.

What I Miss: Nothing right now. I'm honestly just happy with how things are right now.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Feeling the baby move. Also, our anatomy ultrasound on Monday. I hope everything looks great and the baby is growing well. Since we declined any other genetic testing, this will be the first real look at whether there are any indications of Down's or anything like that. I pray everything looks healthy.

Weekly Wisdom: Even if the beginning is tough, hang in there and just stay positive! Better times are coming!

Milestones: Finding out the gender! Baby Boy Bittmann is now officially Andrew George Bittmann :). It's so much fun to be able to start planning the nursery and baby registry. In fact, we already bought our bedding set for Andrew's room.  Exciting!

Emotions: I am overwhelmed with happiness these days. Everything is really finally starting to feel real and I am getting comfortable in the fact that this baby is really going to be our baby boy! I think I was holding back in my excitement at first, but now it's all really happening. Getting so close to halfway now!!

Good things are happening. Monday's ultrasound will be our last official ultrasound as long as everything looks good. It's hard to believe we won't be able to see our little man for the rest of the pregnancy, but at the same time, it will mean he's healthy, which is awesome. Also, we are very close to starting our Hypnobabies birthing class! That starts January 21st, and I absolutely can't wait! Now, I just have to get this novel published first and I can start really working on the nursery and getting the house in order.

It's A....

BOY!!!!!

Definitely crazy excited to share this news with you! I never really pictured myself with a son (always had thought I would have a little girl someday), but the second the u/s tech said boy, I felt so overwhelmed with love and excitement. I announced the gender to my family on Christmas eve and they couldn't be more excited. This will be the first grandson in the family as my sister and brother both have little girls. I didn't do anything too crazy for the gender reveal, but I did decorate plain brown paper bags, then put a little blue surprise inside. Here are a couple of pics.

The little surprise was simple - just tulle circles filled with kisses and tied with a blue ribbon and a tiny little blue pacifier charm. Cheap, but fun! I passed out bags to everyone in my family and had them open them at the same time.

And here are the beautiful pics of our baby boy.

We will have our big anatomy scan on January 9th, so they will be able to tell us without a doubt what the gender is, but the technician at the 3D place was pretty sure it's a boy. Also, I'm sure I've mentioned that my acupuncturist also thought boy since week 11.

We are going to name him ANDREW GEORGE BITTMANN. Such exciting news to be able to share at the holidays. Looking back over 2011, it's hard to believe one year could be full of so much sadness, yet end with so much happiness.

My sincere prayer is for those of you out there who are still struggling with infertility to find your happiness and have your dreams come true in 2012.

14 Weeks and Our 2 Year Anniversary

Today is mine and George's 2nd anniversary!! We had such a happy weekend together, it was amazing. He came home early from work on Friday and surprised me with a beautiful black diamond necklace. Very sweet and very unexpected!! This is going to sound like such cheese, but we spent Friday evening starting a new MMO together - Star Wars, The Old Republic. If you remember our history, George and I met playing Everquest II. We started out internet friends, grouping together in game and hanging out, then it progressed to chatting on ventrilo and then webcam and by phone, and finally, meeting in person. Gaming is an important part of our friendship and we may be nerds, but we have fun together! EQII has kind of been boring lately, so when this new game came out, we decided to give it a try. We are definitely having a lot of fun with it, and it's a great way to spend time together.

Saturday morning we got a couples massage, OMG. It was amazing. George had a deep tissue massage and I had a pregnancy massage. We both left feeling so happy and relaxed. We spent the whole day together, taking a long walk, napping, just hanging out, then went to an early dinner at our favorite Japanese Hibachi Steakhouse. YUM! We ended up sitting at the bar for over an hour afterward (so George could finish his Sake, so sad I couldn't have some!) just talking, which was great. Sunday was more relaxing and walking together, and I love every minute we spend together.

It's such a happy place we're in this year. We're still so very much in love with each other. And now we have a baby on the way!!! I couldn't ask for more in life. Here is a recent picture of us together. I was very newly pregnant here, but had no idea yet. Hehe. How exciting!

And for the most recent pregnancy update!

How Far Along: 14 weeks

My Baby This Week: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Your baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active. (From www.babycenter.com)

Weight Gain: 8 lbs. Ouch! At least 4 lbs of this has to be in my boobs, ha.

Baby Bump: Definitely popping out now! I love to see this little baby bump and am looking forward to watching it grow.

Sleep: Getting better the more I get used to the Snoogle pillow and to sleeping on my side. The massage helped a lot too in working out some of the knots in my shoulder. I think I'm getting over some of the fatigue too and don't need quite as much sleep as I did in the beginning.

Best Moment of The Week: Anniversary dinner, realizing that this will be our last anniversary as a couple. Next year and from here on out, we will be a family of three! So exciting!

Symptoms: Heartburn. Ugh. It sucks!! Tums are my best friend these days. If the old wives tale is true, this baby is going to have some serious hair when he/she comes out! Still a little nausea, but I got a fresh scrip for Zofran and am hoping this will carry me through the last of it. My breasts are still sore, especially the nips. I hope that means my body is working great and is getting ready to produce lots of milk!

Food Cravings: Nothing specific still. After such a great dinner Sat. though, I might start craving Japanese, hehe.

What I Miss: Being able to have a glass or two of Sake at dinner. It's not a big deal, really, but it's weird to think it will be such a long time before I can drink again.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Friday's Gender Ultrasound. OMG, I'm dying to hear the news!!!!

Weekly Wisdom: No matter how bad I feel, I never want to take a single moment of this experience for granted. I'm so blessed to be pregnant.

Emotions: I'm Lady Waterworks these days. Lots of tears, but mostly joyful tears. :)

13 Weeks

Yay! I made it through the most difficult/dangerous part of the pregnancy. I know there are differing opinions on when the second trimester begins (even in my own OB office, one nurse said 12 weeks, but the midwife said 14, lol), but I am going to go ahead and proclaim that I have officially hit the second trimester! I definitely feel a little bit better. The nausea is mostly gone, (yippee!!) except for a few early morning quease sessions. It's so much more manageable, which is awesome.

Also, I am off the progesterone supplements and the metformin. I was incredibly nervous about coming off of these medications at first, but now that it's been about a week, I am feeling better. I am incredibly happy that I bought the Sonoline fetal doppler so that I can hear the baby's heartbeat whenever I want to. It's given me a lot of peace of mind to hear that strong heartbeat. So here's my official 13 week update:

How Far Along: 13 weeks

My Baby This Week:

Weight Gain: 6 lbs. Not bad for the first trimester I guess. It's a little more than I wanted to gain, and now that I'm off the metformin, I'm a little bit nervous that the weight will come on even faster. I am going to have to be a lot more careful about what I'm eating. I also need to make sure to be better about exercise. We've been trying to walk about 2 miles a day, but I keep missing days. (oops!)

Baby Bump: My bump is finally starting to grow! It's still small, but I'm posting two pics - the one I took at 4 weeks just after we found out I was preggers, and the one I just took on Saturday evening. You can start to see the little bit of bump growing! It's very exciting.

Sleep: This is definitely the tough spot for me right now. I bought one of those Snoogle pregnancy pillows, and it seems to be helping some. Still, my body is achy. It's surprising that I'm having body aches this early in my pregnancy. I wasn't expecting that. I've had a hard time sleeping all the way through the night, and when I wake up in the morning, I feel stiff. I normally sleep on my back, so it's tough to make the switch to side sleeping. Hopefully this discomfort won't last the entire rest of the pregnancy.

Best Moment of the Week: Buying my new pregnancy full belly panel jeans. They are so incredibly comfy and they look great on me. Ahhh, what a relief to get out of my regular jeans.

Symptoms: Nausea and fatigue are definitely starting to go away, which is an amazing relief. My worst symptoms right now are the body aches and discomfort when I sleep.Also, my nipples are killing me lately. This may be TMI (ha!) but when I go outside and it's cold, my nipples scream out in pain. It literally feels like they are on fire. Same thing when I am in the shower. My breasts might be a little bigger as well.

Food Cravings: I have been absolutely craving cupcakes lately. Every time I see one, my mouth waters like crazy. Still, I have been a good girl and haven't given in to the temptation. Right now, I'm trying to steer clear of things that are pure sugar. I'm scared of getting GD, so I'm trying to be good!

What I Miss: Being able to get a full night's sleep without waking up or feeling achy.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Our gender ultrasound on the 23rd!!! I can't wait to see if we'll be able to find out if we're having a girl or a boy. I'm so excited!!!

Weekly Wisdom: Pregnancy is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I need to stop being so hard on myself and just keep in mind that my body is going through a lot right now. It's okay if I'm not superwoman.

Milestones: Made it through the first trimester!!!

Emotions: A little out of control. I mean, I cried today at an Onstar commercial on the radio. Seriously.