13DPO - BFN

Whew, having to wait two weeks to take a home pregnancy test is torture! TTC is such an emotional time. So many questions running through my head all the time like How long is it going to take? Will I be able to make a healthy baby? Will I be able to get pregnant? Will I ever have to go through a miscarriage? How will I handle that? Am I pregnant right now? It's crazy.

As I wrote earlier, I had a mature follicle on CD11 according to the ultrasound. The nurse gave me an HCG trigger shot. DH and I went home and baby danced on CD11, 12, 13, 14, and once again on CD15 for good measure. :) It was definitely fun to be with him so many nights in a row. I had a positive OPK on CD11 and 12. I have also been charting my temperature on Fertility Friend. According to my temps, I ovulated on CD12, which puts me at 13 days past ovulation today and 14 days past my trigger shot. It's completely possible that it's still too early to get a positive test, but I want to catch a pregnancy as early as possible in order to help prevent miscarriage.

Anyway, DH and I went to Dollar Tree a couple of days ago and bought 6 tests. I can't believe they are only a dollar! I figure if I get a positive on one of the cheapies, then I'll call the doctor and have it confirmed with a blood test (thank you $10 insurance copay, lol). This morning, I took my first pregnancy test. I sat down on the toilet and just stared at the test for at least five minutes, praying for even a tiny wisp of a line to show up. No line :( Big Fat Negative for me today. I have to admit, I even went back this afternoon and checked the test again. I know it says results aren't valid after 10 minutes, but I just had to look again. See what TTC does to me? Makes me crazy!

My husband isn't upset at all by the negative test. He says we haven't been trying long (and he's right) and that we'll just keep trying. No rush. Sounds simple, right? So why do I feel so damn depressed today? I've known all my adult life that making a baby was going to be tougher for me than a lot of other women. But there was a part of me that was hoping with the Clomid and the Glumetza and the charting and everything it might just happen on our first month with meds. I know I'm not out until Aunt Flow (AF) arrives, but I'm definitely cramping a lot today and feeling irritable - PMS. Just 4 days till Christmas and I really am not looking forward to cramps and a period for the holidays.

Feeling down today, but I'm trying to pull myself together and realize that it's still early and we're barely into the process yet. Even if it takes a couple of months, we still might have a baby by next year at Christmas! I won't give up hope. My plan at this point is to just keep testing every other day until my period arrives or I get a positive test. I'll write more when I know more.