An Intro to My Story

In 1997, as a junior in college, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). At the time, no one could really properly explain what that meant. All the doctor really told me was that there were cysts in my ovaries that had been causing the problems I'd had such as acne, sudden weight gain, hair growth on my face, and missed periods. He also told me that PCOS would make it difficult, if not impossible, for me to someday have children. His only solution was to put me on a hormone blocker to block extra testosterone and to put me on birth control pills. That was it.

For many years, I mostly tried to ignore my PCOS. Humiliated by the growth of hair in strange places on my body, I took to daily shaving. I even tried electrolysis, which ended up being super painful, expensive, and a big fat failure. I gained weight and went from a healthy and thin 135 that junior year to a larger and much less energetic 200 pounds by the time I was 30. Between the PCOS and a husband that was verbally abusive and not at all interested in sex, my self-esteem plummeted to the very deepest depths.

On my 30th birthday, however, I picked myself up, filed for divorce, and vowed to make some changes in my life. I deserve to be happy. Everyone does! But you can't sit around and wait for something or someone to come along and make you happy. You have to take life into your own hands and make some changes in order to make your life better.

Less than a year later, I moved in with the man of my dreams. We met playing an online game called Everquest 2 (yes, we're geeks and we're proud!) and became close friends long before we ever met in person. Once we did finally get together, it was instant love! I had been teaching school at the time, but when I moved, my love told me I should work toward my lifetime dream of becoming a published writer. He supported me and put up with self-esteem issues and told me daily that I was beautiful. I went to Sona Medspa and had laser hair removal treatments, which meant goodbye to shaving and embarrassment forever (highly recommended by the way!). I started writing and finding my goals and passion again.

On December 19, 2009, I married the most amazing man in the world. I have always dreamed of having a baby, but the time has never been right... until now! In October of 2010, we officially decided to start trying to conceive. I am currently 33 years old and will be 34 in January. With my PCOS and my advanced age (fertility-wise), I knew we should talk to a specialist right away. We went to see a doctor at a local fertility center and he helped us put together a plan:

• 2000 mg of Glumetza (metformin) a day
• 100 mg Clomid
• CD 11 u/s to check for follicles
• OPK's every 12 hours after CD 11 to detect surge
• Sperm analysis and IUI as soon as ovulation is detected
• (possible HCG trigger shot if needed)

I have decided to write about our TTC journey and what it's like to be a woman in her 30's TTC with PCOS. For me, it's a type of therapy. If anyone ends up reading this, I hope that it will help you find hope and help you to know that you are not alone. Sometimes, there might be some TMI, but I hope you will keep reading and reserve judgment on the decisions I've made or the path I've taken. This is a place where I want to be honest about my feelings and my journey toward making my dream of having a baby come true.