Overwhelmed

It's so easy to feel overwhelmed at this stage! I'm looking toward the next seven or so months and realizing that there is so much that needs to get done. I have found myself just standing there in the doorway to the future nursery, staring at the mess that needs to be tamed into a real baby's room. For years, that room has been my catch-all room. It's my closet (because the one in the master bedroom is super tiny), my crafting/sewing room, a storage room, you name it. I've actually already cleaned a lot of it out, but there's still just so much stuff. To be honest, I have no idea where most of it is going to go.

I have donated a bunch of my crafting supplies to a local school in need. I let some friends come and look through a lot of the stuff that was left, which got rid of some more of it. Then, I actually donated about 3 trashbags full of clothes to the local mission. And that's really just the beginning of it all.

I know I need to just take it one step at a time. I wish the nursery was the only thing that needed work around here. It seems like there's something to do in every single room. Not to mention the fact that we really need new carpet throughout the entire house. I want to do everything I can to make this house perfect for the baby. And the ironic thing is that a tiny baby will have no idea if the house is a mess or not, lol. It's just something I want for the baby to have. Maybe that's insane.

My big hope is that once the first trimester is over, I will get some of my energy back and can finally start to tackle some of these big jobs I have on my list. When I'm feeling tired and nauseated, the last thing I wanted to do is clean the house or work on organizing. Honestly, I'm ashamed to admit that all I really feel like doing these days is sitting in front of the TV and vegging out. Is that terrible? It's almost like a weird melancholy that comes over me. It's almost a restlessness. There's so much I want to do, but I feel helpless to do any of it. It's definitely a strange feeling, and I really hope it passes soon.

On a totally happy note, though, I am actually almost 8 1/2 weeks already! Time is definitely moving right along. Next Monday, I have my second ultrasound. I really hope we get to hear the heartbeat this time! I am also really hoping that the fertility clinic graduates me to a regular OB practice after this appointment. I'm still not completely sure which practice I'm going to go with, but I'm ready to get settled with my doctor and midwives and move into a 'normal' pregnancy. Exciting!!